When a parent or parents let their children down, it gives their children an insight in how not to do things.
On a child’s part, they can never make up for, or change their experiences. It doesn’t right a wrong or make their experiences right, nor does it change the status quo on their relationship with their parents. But when parents let their children down they are inadvertently giving their children the tools to change things for themselves.
That’s no excuse for us to get things wrong. Instead we must consciously work through each individual experience and make a mental note of any changes we need to make. It’s also important not to get caught up in the whys and wherefores of being let down, because those whys and wherefores that are continually being enforced, will keep us emotionally stuck and unable to move on.
Even though I had been let down through personal and long-term institutional failings around a disability I didn’t know I had, I innately knew it wasn’t right for me to let others down further into my own life.
But it’s not an excuse for anyone who experiences abuse, neglect and negativity to do nothing about changing their own responses. Accepting those experiences without change, means those experiences will go on to play out with our own children and other people.
Mental health and mental health issues ‘become a thing’ when we continue to hone in on the injustice and it’s not something we can mentally or physically change. Even though others had let me down through personal and long-term institutional failings, it wasn’t right for me to let others down.
Letting people down even though we may have been let down ourselves shouldn’t be an option for us. As my story shows, life tends to work better and in our favour when we let our experiences go.