Why not me

As a child growing up with a disability I didn’t know I had, that included emotional and physical difficulties, it’s remarkable I never once said, why me. It’s as though I had surmised that it was okay to be me, even with my issues and my disability.

I also didn’t seem worried about any one’s opinion. What others thought of me was immaterial. Perhaps my spiritual beliefs, even as a child were already part of that mindset. I’d already seen too much to know that I didn’t need to make what other people thought of me, my issue.

But having a disability did make me periodically look over my shoulder every now and again at those who seemed happier, more relaxed with themselves. I was struggling with the neglect, but I liked the way I looked, I was happy to be me. I felt secure in my own skin, if a little too reflective in parts. But perhaps that’s why I was reflective.

But I do think that how we feel about ourselves is what really matters, to the point of asking with whatever we deal with…why not me? Primarily, our lives should be about us making ourselves comfortable in our skin, whatever we get to deal with.


2 Jun, 2018

6 thoughts on “Why not me

  1. You were actually lucky that you didn’t spend a lot of time wondering about why me, seeing as I have been asking that question for a very long time.

    Even today I have to wonder this, since my wallet seems to have vanished and that’s absolutely the last thing I wanted to deal with right now.

    Of course with my memory issues, I can’t exactly remember where I had it last, so now I have to spend the day backtracking and praying that it turns up.

    I also had a set of spiritual beliefs that helped me to survive, but at the same time I was being forced to worry so much about what other people thought of me, to the point of being neurotic.

    Right at this point, all I want is to finally be able to be comfortable in my own skin, so I just need to figure out how to do that, while I still can.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, I still had issues to deal with, aside from my disability pertaining to family, but I think my attentions were turned towards myself and my spiritual beliefs.

      But whatever our childhood, as the adult it is up to us to change and choose how we live our lives. Difficult of course without the relevant tools, but it’s something we can work towards.

      I believe you can too, with the right people in your life to support and help you. Where we don’t have that support mechanism, we must try to do it for ourselves. But however we get to that place, it’s important we are comfortable in our skin.

      I hope it won’t be long before you find your wallet. Fingers crossed.

      1. Yes, my wallet turned up at my friend’s apartment, after I had taken him shopping on Friday, thank God!

        This is why I usually keep it on a chain so I don’t lose it LOL!

  2. For me, the question is: Why didn’t I surmise that it was okay to be me long before I actually did? Perhaps I need to do a little time travel get that answer.

    But I must say, you stay incredibly busy stimulating the feel-good hormone in our brains, challenging as that may be.

    1. Awww thanks Tim. Yes, with encouragement and support you will have already surmised it was okay to be you, long before you did.

      But anyone who grows up around abuse in a dysfunctional family, will always spend long periods of time trying to function in a hostile world and because of that we don’t always have time to think about those things.

      In my own case, I believe being able to reflect and my spiritual beliefs saved me. Please try not to be too hard on yourself. What matters is you got there. I love that.

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