Why we shouldn’t conform

I used to feel guilty because I felt I should have been stronger instead of conforming to how others wanted me to be, although there’s a part of me that knows I had little choice in the matter.

I felt compelled to write from my own viewpoint why I feel it’s important for us not to conform to other people’s lives if it’s not right for us, and why we should learn to follow our own path.

It stands to reason that if we live by our own rules, we will live a more peaceful life with less stress in it. We will live by our own values and be free to make our own decisions.

When we conform to fit into another person’s life, we live by the other person’s rules and not our own. If what others are asking you doesn’t fit into your own plans, make your own decisions on what they want you to do. When we try to match up to other people, it usually means we’re trying too hard to find a level of acceptance.

Be comfortable around your non-conformity. Not conforming helps you grow emotionally, physically and spiritually because you’re free to do your own thing. Try not to care about what other people think. You’ll stop conforming, and as long as you’re not rejecting other people’s ways out of spite, no one should make you feel bad about your choices.

When you choose to do your own thing for your own reasons and you’re not hurting anyone else, everything will work out. It’s your life to do with as you please, as their life is for them to do as they please. They shouldn’t make you feel bad.


26 Mar, 2012

6 thoughts on “Why we shouldn’t conform

  1. I’ve always been a conformist, doing what others did to fit in.

    Then after my first marriage failed I said enough is enough and started doing things my way; but now I’m back doing stuff others do a little bit.

    I still end up doing things my way, I just like to have some input from others and if it’s something I feel strongly about, I’ll do it my way regardless.

    1. It sounds like you do what’s right for you, but you still fit in with others too and if that works for you then great.

      My own experience dictated otherwise, particularly whilst growing up. The more I conformed, the more I was taken advantage of.

      I am a lot happier making my own decisions now and rely on my own judgment of what I want for myself.

  2. I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to conform to everyone’s expectations of me, so I really don’t have a clear sense of just who it is that I am.

    I’m just now trying to figure out how to run my own life the way I want to! It would be awesome to know, since I haven’t ever known anything different.

    1. I know exactly what you mean. I was the same growing up. I conformed for many years until I realised I was miserable!

      I believe you can Randy. If you can put the past behind you and start making your own decisions based on what you want, you will eventually listen to yourself and will stop listening to what others want.

  3. I’ve always done things MY way. I never was a conformist.

    From the age of 12 upwards, I have had the attitude of, ‘I don’t care what other people think about me.’ But I think I have taken it too far… it’s made me kind of an introvert.

    1. Don’t be too hard on yourself. From what you say here in your response, it could be that although you were a non-conformist, you also had other things to deal with which made you shy away and become more introvert.

      From my own experience being a conformist and then a non-conformist, didn’t make me an introvert. My CP made me an introvert. Please let me know if that resonates with you.

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