Wilful acts & forgiveness

It’s taken me 8+ years and counting to work through my experiences and my life. But the one thing I’m sure of is that I wasn’t in the same emotional space before I started writing. I’ve come a long way.

It’s only when we work through our experiences and we’re looking at the bigger picture that we understand our experiences and other people and how those people make their decisions. I know why I wasn’t told about my diagnosis even though I have medical notes that confirm there was a diagnosis at the age of 2.

With any diagnosis there is so much more to the diagnosis than just the diagnosis. If it was only about the diagnosis, there would be no issue, but all diagnoses have implications. Having cerebral palsy meant I had neurological and emotional implications and those we’re totally ignored.

Growing up without taking my neurological and emotional side to my disability into consideration had far wide reaching implications that I continued to struggle with throughout my life. Truth be known, my life and what I’ve had to deal with throughout my life has been one big struggle.

Although in the early years I wasn’t fully consciously aware of my symptoms and it was all about a non-diagnosis, as I began to grow up it became very clear what my neurological and emotional struggles were and that they were totally being overlooked.

Our many struggles, without a thought and consideration from others as to how we might or will cope, is often the reason we don’t always have to forgive.


23 Aug, 2018

4 thoughts on “Wilful acts & forgiveness

  1. Forgiveness has been one thing I have had the hardest time with, especially forgiving myself, which I am dealing with now.

    The reality is that I’m only human and I have needs, wants and desires that aren’t being taken care of in this relationship and probably never will.

    The only example I was shown was that you are supposed to stay together no matter what, but I don’t want to have to suffer like my parents did, when there isn’t any real reason.

    They willfully ignored our basic needs and any kind of issues that we had, which led to us suffering in our lives when it didn’t have to be that way.

    I don’t feel like I should have to forgive them when I’m having to be the one to figure out how to live my life now, after having had to suffer through most of my life because of their behavior.

    1. You must do what’s right for you Randy. If you feel your parents deserve your forgiveness then I’m sure you will forgive them.

      Having documented my experiences over the last 8 years I have come to my own conclusions on where I stand on forgiveness.

      What I will say is that it doesn’t make us nasty, mean or evil if we choose not to forgive, it’s simply a personal choice based on our own personal experiences.

      If we can live without carrying the guilt and we simply choose not to forgive then we know we’ve healed.

      I personally don’t believe we have to forgive in order for us to heal. Bringing understanding into the equation is healing enough.

  2. I may forgive If I see the perp in the grip of karma. Then I’ll chuckle to myself and live happily ever after.

    Of course, some things are unforgivable.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, I’ve also come to the same conclusion that some things are unforgivable, particularly if the deed done is wilful and there is no remorse. Those things for all intents and purposes do seem pretty unforgivable.

      Forgiving someone for their deed is somewhat a personal choice, but we can still live a fruitful life and not forgive, instead we choose not to carry the deed, choose not to live with malice, and instead replace the deed with understanding.

      Simply, we must come to understand the person behind the deed. It is only through understanding that we can bring acceptance and let the deed go without having to forgive.

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