Wilful neglect

When a parent does something that is wilful, they consciously make a decision. That isn’t the same thing as unconsciously struggling to parent your child.

Because I have Autism, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (‘CBT’) helps me see and understand more of my experiences so that I’m looking at the bigger picture, a different angle on the angle I have. What I find incredulous is that others lived their lives around my disability without so much of a conscience.

Since everything we do is down to freewill, this is also freewill. We consciously make the choices we make. But like we have freewill to make our decisions, we also have freewill to unmake those decisions. We have freewill to choose to support others, in the same way we have freewill not to.

Out of all my experiences, this is the hardest pill to swallow. I find it hard knowing this was ‘wilful neglect’ that those close to me wittingly failed to address my special needs. That specifically my neurological issues were neglected, like those needs didn’t matter, like I didn’t matter.

My neurological issues make up the biggest part of my disability and what I have struggled with the most.

I’m not sad about my relationships, they’re gone. What’s sad is the quality of life I could have had without all my struggles, particularly in my school years. This is nothing to do with me and it’s on them.

19 Mar, 2019

2 thoughts on “Wilful neglect

  1. No child should be the subject of wilful neglect as opposed though an unfortunate set of circumstances beyond a parent’s control, such as poverty.

    There is simply no excuse and to impose that on a child is wrong. As you say, none of this is on you, it will always be on those who inflicted this on you.

    You were a child!

    1. Thanks. As you say none of this is on me and I agree. But when that guilt has nowhere to go it is easy to think you need to carry it. I know better than to do that.

      My blog has been instrumental in helping me to come to terms with my past. But those instrumental need to accept their parts and own it for themselves.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.