I was always removed from being around anyone who was terminally ill when I was little, but if and when I did hear about someone’s terminal illness, it made me struggle mentally and emotionally.
I’m coping to act as a support to my father, but it is slowly becoming clear that because I deal with other things too, it’s beginning to take its toll on my digestion, because I deal with respiratory disease.
When I deal with any form of stress, my digestion is the first to go. I am not finding it easy. Not having to deal with a family illness in this way as a child, has made this much harder.
It is important to be subjected to these things as children, if we are to manage as adults. Seeing my father terminally ill, reinforces that I am now all grown up. I don’t have my mum around now and once my father goes, the responsibility lies with me, with no safety net to fall back on.
In the meantime, I continue to tell myself that I can do what I can. Whatever I can’t do, I’ll take a step back. If I can do something I will, but that has to be better than doing nothing at all.