Yesterday was a strange day, good but strange. For the last few months I’ve been in the same place on issues that haven’t yet been resolved that I’m still trying to work on. On the back of family stress, I spontaneously decided to bring a hair appointment forward by one day so that I could get out of the house.
When I came back from my appointment my father had already rung to let us know that he wanted some shopping. When I got to the house he wanted to come with, so we took him to the shops and what an experience that was. I wasn’t sure why, but I came back with a completely different perspective on everything.
We may go through a roller-coaster of emotions most of them negative, when either of our parents become terminally ill. There are many things we want to say, most of which we never get to say, as we try to come to terms with the diagnosis. It’s often what’s not said that can make us harbour resentment.
Yesterday I saw an ailing man and that’s all I saw. The usual things we’re said, but this time, his words didn’t matter. I felt calm. Looking back at my life with him, although I can’t change things now, what’s passed is something he has to deal with.
As part of our spiritual journey we should take stock of our lives when that time comes. It comes to all of us eventually and that’s good.