10 thoughts on “A Judith Orloff quote

  1. I agree with this quote, but we have to learn that we have the choice rather than simply react.

    It is easy just to respond almost automatically in a situation and that can prove to be quite negative. Whereas if we stop ourselves from making a ‘knee-jerk’ reaction, think about what we are about to do or say and how that will influence the situation.

    This will certainly be a more measured response, even if that response is the same.

    1. Your response is spot on. Thank you. This is exactly what Judith’s quote means. Thinking about what we say and how we say it, rather than just reacting to something that’s said.

      To respond for the sake of responding without putting thought into that response can lead to all sorts of problems and fall-outs.

  2. In many instances, the problem starts in the environment of the womb and begins when children lack emotional discipline in their early years. Emotional aggression is the only choice for some by virtue of being innocent of their ignorance and not having a choice to pull from.

    From my experience, how we react emotionally has a lot to do with our human training which gives us multiple choices to choose from.

    1. Thanks Tim. I think your last paragraph completes your response Tim. Our emotional responses have a lot to do with our emotional training, but I would add if I may; other influences also play their part.

      Not everyone will automatically follow our lead. They often take their leads from outside influences instead.

  3. Sometimes I am able to choose how I react to certain situations, but others not so much. The frustration I feel within takes control of my emotions.

    1. Thanks Maria. Yes that’s happened to me too. Through experience though, I believe we learn to understand and control our emotions better.

      I don’t know about you, but for me it also depends on who I’m talking to. Some people are easier to talk to, than others.

  4. We do ultimately have a choice on how we react to situations, rather than letting the situation control our emotions!

    It’s very hard to learn that we do have a choice when we’re raised without choices. We always had to just take things as they came, even if we didn’t like what was going on at the time.

    People rarely understand why we do things the way we do, unless they have been through similar things themselves. It will take me a lot of practice to learn to think of things differently than I always used to.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes growing up without being able to express ourselves can make life particularly difficult, to then find that expression as the adult, even more difficult.

      I found myself exactly in the same position as you. Having had so many people control my life, it was difficult to know how or where to start, but it’s something we should learn, even if we have to do it on our own.

      Our emotions are the only thing we have that allows us to express how we feel. Even if we’ve not been able to express ourselves as children (in both of our cases) it’s important to change that when we’re adults.

      It’s a case of finding our voice. I believe it’s important we do.

  5. Maybe I am the only one who takes things to heart. I try and put a strong front; but sometimes my emotions get the best of me.

    I know that in the past I have had to go back and re-think things in my head. Usually I find that I over-react in the beginning and things aren’t as bad as I think.

    That’s why now I take things a bit lighter, I don’t let things bother me as much. Being too emotional is a pain!

    1. Thanks Maria. You describe yourself as sensitive Maria and there’s nothing really wrong with that.

      I am sure we’ve all probably been found guilty of over-reacting in certain situations too, but wearing your heart on your sleeve, is a good way to be.

      I think if more of us were sensitive, we’d understand the other person better. I believe over-reaction is not always an over-reaction for over-reacting sake, but because our feelings are more exposed to the elements, than someone who hardly reacts at all.

      Family and friends will come to know where you stand and why you feel like you do. There’s nothing wrong with that. Our emotions are there to be used. Expression is important. It’s the difference between illness and wellness.

      I think more of us should learn to use our emotions better.

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