10 thoughts on “A quote by June Ahern

  1. This is very true. This was me for many years in a relationship that I wasn’t true to myself, but trying hard to please and appease and I hate that I let myself do that.

    Thankfully I woke up and won’t be going there again.

    1. Yes, one thing relationships teach us is how to do things better. A tough call and I have been there myself many times.

      It’s not always easy to appease others but sometimes we have no choice if we are to keep the peace. I’ve heard it said those relationships make us stronger and agree to a certain degree.

      I personally believe it’s to teach the other person how to do things better, although from my own experiences it doesn’t work.

      It only works if they want it to work.

  2. Yes, so very true. I have been living a life of lies for most of it. I was forced as a child to do things I didn’t want to do just to make other people happy.

    If I didn’t there was always hell to pay, so I gave in. This carried on into my adult life, I was always doing things that made everyone else happy, but I was totally miserable.

    Even when I tried to do things that I wanted to do, I felt so much guilt that I couldn’t really enjoy it. Now, I need to work on getting rid of the guilt, shame and remorse that wasn’t mine to begin with.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, the hardest part, I feel, is living with another person’s guilt because they don’t own up to their responsibilities of how they brought us up or made us feel.

      When we live a life governed by others, we in effect live their lives. This is quote is so true, based on my own experiences, which is why I’ve used it twice.

      Not being true to ourselves, is living a lie to ourselves, even if it’s not an outright black lie. It’s not our truth, it’s not how we would choose to live our life, if we had a choice.

  3. There were times when I’ve had to deny myself the posture of a confident man, only to avoid being perceived as arrogant or too self assured.

    I usually have that problem in employment situations but not life in general.

    It’s a shame that we must go along to get along just to survive.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, we shouldn’t have to but opting out isn’t always a choice, there’s usually a condition attached somewhere.

      It starts in childhood and usually continues until something happens and our circumstances change.

  4. Yes, we only hurt ourselves when we act a certain way, which is not necessarily us, in order to please others. We should be ourselves and if people don’t like the way we are, oh well.

    1. Thanks Maria. I think we do it so we will be accepted, where otherwise we would not, but agree with you, we should do our own thing if that’s what we feel we want to do.

  5. This is so true for so many of us! I still find it difficult to stay true to myself while dealing with others.

    I’m finding my children are starting to compensate for others approval, so we discuss a lot about the situations they find themselves in and what they think about it when dealing with others.

    Especially in their teen years, wanting to fit in and approval of other kids.

    1. You’re doing exactly what I have done with my own children and that’s great.

      It doesn’t always make it easier in the longer term for our children, but at least they know we’ve tried. Unfortunately teenagers tend to be very unforgiving, (the nature of their age) and are not particularly interested in other teenagers who don’t tow the party line.

      It’s usually our children who have to fall into line with them to fit in.

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Ilana x