10 thoughts on “A quote by June Ahern

  1. This is very true. This was me for many years in a relationship that I wasn’t true to myself, but trying hard to please and appease and I hate that I let myself do that.

    Thankfully I woke up and won’t be going there again.

    1. Thank you. One thing relationships teach us is how to do things better. A tough call and I have been there myself many times. That has been my life.

      I appreciate it’s not always easy to see or understand why we have to appease someone else, we should and need to be true to ourselves, but that’s not always easy.

      I have heard it said those relationships make us stronger and agree with that to a certain degree, but often think it’s to teach the other person how they can do things better, although from my own experience that doesn’t always work.

  2. Yes, so very true. I have been living a life of lies for most of it! I was always forced as a child to do things I didn’t want to do just to make other people happy.

    If I didn’t there was always hell to pay, so eventually I gave in. This carried on into my adult life, so I was always doing things that made everyone else happy, but I was totally miserable! Even when I tried to do things that I wanted to do, I felt so much guilt that I couldn’t really enjoy it.

    Now, at this point, I need to work on getting rid of all the guilt, shame and remorse that wasn’t mine to begin with so I can enjoy what time I have left!

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes the hardest part, I feel, is having to live with another person’s guilt and remorse because they don’t own up to their responsibilities of how they brought us up or made us feel.

      I’m not sure how many years it was before I let go of the guilt and remorse. I felt I had failed.

      When we live a life governed by others, we in effect live their lives. This is quote is so true as you say. Not being true to ourselves, is living a lie to ourselves, even if it’s not an outright black lie.

      It’s not our truth; it’s not how we would choose to live our life, but we have to act on it.

  3. There were times when I’ve had to deny myself the posture of a confident man, only to avoid being perceived as arrogant or too self assured. I usually have that problem in employment situations but not life in general.

    It’s a shame that we must go along to get along just to survive.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes we shouldn’t have to but unless we opt out, we find ourselves doing it.

      It starts in childhood, continues in school and continues for as long as we allow it to. I learned to let go and think about myself more now.

      It’s not that I don’t think about others, of course I still do, but believe there is a balance to be had. If others don’t like it, it has to be their issue.

  4. Yes, we only hurt ourselves when we act a certain way, which is not necessarily us, in order to please others. We should be ourselves and if people don’t like the way we are, oh well.

    1. Thanks Maria. I think we do it so we will be accepted, where otherwise we would not, but agree with you, we should do our own thing if that’s what we feel we want to do.

  5. This is so true for so many of us! I still find it difficult to stay true to myself while dealing with others.

    I’m finding my children are starting to compensate for others approval, so we discuss a lot about the situations they find themselves in and what they think about it when dealing with others.

    Especially in their teen years, wanting to fit in and approval of other kids.

    1. You’re doing exactly what I have done with my own children and that’s great.

      It doesn’t always make it easier in the longer term for our children, but at least they know we’ve tried. Unfortunately teenagers tend to be very unforgiving, (the nature of their age) and are not particularly interested in other teenagers who don’t tow the party line.

      It’s usually our children who have to fall into line with them to fit in.

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