Forgive & forget

Something inspirational:

“I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.”

HENRY WARD BEECHER


20 Mar, 2013

8 thoughts on “Forgive & forget

  1. I totally agree with this.If you forgive it should be forgotten. If you don’t forget about it, it will stay in the back of your mind and cause ill feelings toward the other person you have supposedly forgiven.

    To totally forgive is to forget. So forgive and just let it be.

  2. I can forgive someone, but what they did to me stays in the back of my mind.

    Not sure if that means that I’m not forgiving properly, depending on how bad the offence to me was!

    In some cases it can fracture a friendship.

    1. If you don’t forgive and forget and kiss and make up Maria I believe that you’ll forgive them for what they’ve but that on some level you’ll never forget.

      When we forgive someone we have to wipe the slate clean so that we forget the incident completely. In my mind there can be no half measures.

  3. Unfortunately for me I have a very long memory. When someone is mean to me I do not forget it for a long time.
    I will just avoid that person when ever possible.

    Sometimes they surprise me and I am able to finally forgive them especially if they turn from mean to nice. That doesn’t happen very often.

    1. From your response Randy I agree with you that to forgive is personal and that we deal with forgiveness in different ways.

      I always try to find a resolution so that it never gets to the stage where I have to avoid a person. If I try to resolve the problem and that person they won’t help me, then I always take the view that it was never meant to be.

      Unfortunately if and when someone decides they don’t want to forgive or forget, then there’s probably not much we can do about it.

  4. I am not a very forgiving or forgetting person and I’m not so sure I agree with this quote. In my view, forgiving is one thing and forgetting is something completely different.

    I can understand the importance of forgiveness for many reasons but it is sometimes important not to forget but to find a place for the person’s actions so they do you no more harm.

    1. I understand your sentiments completely, but I think the quote refers to the fact that if we’ve made a decision to forgive someone we should also forget what they’ve done too.

      I agree with you that some indiscretions are harder to forget than others. If it works for you to forgive then find a place where what’s been said doesn’t harm you any further then that’s great.

      The problem many of us have is holding on to indiscretions and not letting go and although we think we have, in time we clearly haven’t.

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