Taking control

Something inspirational:

“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.”

ANAIS NIN


29 Nov, 2012

14 thoughts on “Taking control

  1. I grew up in a very negative world and learned how to survive around people like that, so it is quite awkward when I’m around people who are actually positive.

    It’s very different for me to try to stay focused on the positives in life sometimes. I’ve been trying to do better with it, but there are still times when I get really negative when I think about a lot of things that I didn’t do in my life.

    I’m just hoping and praying that I can learn to live a positive life which will be so much better for me, I know!

    1. I also grew up around negativity Randy so I know how that feels.

      As much as we can continue to be drawn to negativity from our childhood if that’s what we’ve had, I still believe we can turn our lives around so that we become more positive.

      We choose how to live our lives. Of course changing our attitude isn’t going to happen overnight, learned behaviour is hard to break, but I believe we can change the way we choose to do things.

      We make our choices and that includes the people we choose to have in our lives. It’s a good quote.

  2. I also grew up around these type of people, especially in school.

    Kids are mean and I was one of the quiet, nice ones that got taken advantage of. People would talk about me behind my back and pretend to be my friend to my face. They especially liked poking fun at me and they would also do that to my face.

    I used to be like a duck, just let the stuff roll off my back like a duck letting water roll off its back. You have to let things go because if you get upset or agitated, the more likely you are to egg them on.

    By not letting these things get to you makes the fun go out of it for the other person and most of the time the people that are like this have some sort of problem themselves and are trying to make themselves look cool.

    1. It’s a typical response from children. I wasn’t a part of that particular scenario in school, but it’s something that is all too common in school.

      It’s a shame you were subjected to it and sorry you were Lisa. I agree with you. You’re absolutely right though, we have to be clever and take control.

      Taking control is important. It doesn’t matter what the issue is we have to be in control of our circumstances, whatever they are.

  3. Luckily my home was a positive environment, a safe haven from the world because it was not so nice.

    My school life was stressful for me as I had red hair and freckles which stood out to the other kids. They made fun of me and teased me a lot; bullied me really.

    My parents were so good at teaching me to turn the other cheek. I learned young that these kids were probably insecure and troubled themselves so they asserted their power by picking on me. I won’t say it made me a very positive person but I try.

    I think I sometimes excuse people’s negative behavior too much, because I always wonder what sort of demons they are fighting that would make them this way; I feel sorry for them.

    Just another way of looking at it I guess. Thanks for the post Ilana. I hadn’t thought of this in a long time… Lisa M

    1. You’re very welcome Lisa. I am so pleased you had supportive parents. I believe supportive parents make all the difference.

      Having the support also makes our time growing up slightly easier, but you’re right about outside experiences, those experiences can interfere with our ability to cope even with supportive parents.

      It’s lovely that you understand and I know what you mean about other people’s demons, but sometimes what other people deal with, is no excuse for bad behaviour.

      We all have things that we deal with… we all have choices. Choose to make a difference in people’s lives. for those people who make other people’s lives difficult it would be up to us to take control and do something it.

  4. Very true here.

    The way we react to people does matter. If a person learns that their behavior is unacceptable they will change it. Plus if people do things to get attention and get no reaction they will stop.

    The past 8 years I have learned not to react to keep the peace. It is worth it for a calmer household.

    1. I think you’re right Randy, learning not to react does help keep the peace to some extent, but that may not always work depending on the person you’re dealing with. It really depends on what you’re being presented with.

      For some of us it’s hard to work out unpredictable or unreasonable behaviour. I believe anyone change their behaviour, we just have to want to. The majority of people who behave in this way and are unreasonable have probably been so for most or all of their adult life.

      They usually don’t change because they don’t see the need. It’s usually then up to us to take control.

      As you have eloquently said, we either ignore and stop reacting to their issues or I would go one step further to say get out. Sometimes we have no choice on that.

      1. It is not always a choice to get out, but if you can remove yourself from the situation, that way you can have some measure of peace.

        1. I understand your sentiments Randy, but removing yourself from one particular situation with someone, doesn’t mean there won’t be other situations that you have to deal with.

          From my own experience we’re never free of dealing with these kind of issues with people who are out to cause trouble. All that will happen is that we’ll have new different issues to deal with.

          Other people don’t change, we change. I was told by a very good friend of mine that we all have a choice. I believe that to be true. We have a choice to choose how and what we decide to do with our lives. We just have to be strong enough to change it.

  5. That’s a great little analysis. I’m sure we all know negative people, as you say the important thing is to understand we don’t have to put up with them!

  6. These are things I try to concentrate daily by setting my boundaries, choosing how I react to others and most of all not letting others control my emotions.

    It’s hard, but the pay off in peace is invaluable.

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