6 thoughts on “Time & explanations

  1. Yes, so very true. People so often practice selective hearing! I grew up with parents like this who usually only heard what they wanted to hear.

    It’s no wonder that I never got treatment for my mental health issues, because all they heard was ‘It would cost so much money.’ Even after my first suicide attempt, all I heard was the question, Why did you do it? which was when I knew they weren’t listening!

    A prime example was when I needed a winter jacket one year and had to practically beg for it, even though it was pretty obvious why I needed one. This is why I don’t like talking to others about my parents, because then I have to explain why I feel the way I do about them.

    The reality I’ve noticed is that, in trying to explain things to people, it’s like trying to teach rocket science to monkeys. All you get is that blank stare, like a deer in the headlights, when you know they totally aren’t getting it. I feel like I’ve always had to explain why I do things a certain way, or feel the way I do because I had to learn how to do things on my own, versus someone actually teaching me, like normal kids have a chance to do!

    Whatever works is my motto, even if it isn’t what most people would do in a situation and I’ve learned that I don’t have to explain myself. My girlfriend proves that point when I tell her one thing and her reply is something totally different and about a different subject.

    It gets very tiring hearing a constant barrage of should, could and woulds as to how I’m supposed to do certain things. She doesn’t always get that I’m not stupid, but a lot of things nobody ever taught me how to do, like dealing with finances or landlords, etc.

    I don’t know how many times I have to try explaining this before she will finally hear what it is that I’m saying. Yes, this is the root cause of most of the troubles in the world, when people aren’t listening and only hear what they want to hear!

    1. Yes you’re right, people only hear what they want to hear. A sad reality of life I feel. We’d all be better off if we listened to what we need to hear, rather than we want to hear.

      We’d get further and accept things more than we do. I think it also doesn’t matter how we tackle something as long as we get the right result. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. I think given what you’ve had to deal with, with your parents and your childhood, you do amazingly well and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

      We may have had different things to deal with Randy, but I understand how difficult it is.

  2. Absolutely true. But the world is smaller now and people are beginning to hear things they’ve never heard before. Now is the time to examine our conditioning so we can hear exactly what’s being said.

  3. This is very true. People only choose to hear what they want, but I don’t think we should stop explaining ourselves. How else will we learn to listen?

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