Instead of us saying should, we should say could and stop putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves. When we tell ourselves we should have done something, it automatically implies that we might have been able to do better, or that we might have done something wrong.
Maybe we ought to try replacing should with could and see how different the sentence sounds and implies. Could, gives us a choice, it allows us to become more calm and less stressed.
It helps us to make more objective choices as to whether the choice is right for us, which then takes the pressure off us.