A life without an ego

We know the ego is responsible for leading our reaction or response, for other people’s actions directed towards us and us towards others.

But understanding and having knowledge of what the ego is and how it leads us to act, allows us to facilitate, communicate and change our actions in more positive and appropriate ways. When we understand the ego and how the ego operates, we will understand ourselves better.

The ego helps us distinguish what is occurring in our mind from what is occurring in the external world. It is perhaps the single most important function, because negotiating with the outside world requires us to perceive and understand our world around us.

That’s fine to a point. We can grow through the ego both mentally and physically, because the ego is there to initially help us understand and make sense of the world, but we mustn’t be completely reliant on it, because eventually it will start to work against us. The ego works against us when we fail to pay attention to ourselves and we continue to answer to the ego.

It is important we let go of the ego and rely on ourselves. It is only when we venture away from the ego overcoming the inherent resistance to separate ourselves from the ego, that we recognise there is a life beyond the ego.

A life away from the ego is not to be feared, but to be embraced. Working without our ego allows us to see and understand that we can show being grateful and thankful through our own free will, through the universe. The universe doesn’t look for appreciation, acknowledgment and compliments and neither should we.

When we let go of the ego, we go beyond the ego’s perceptions, so embracing our own. Without the ego, we can be selfless so that we support everyone and everything that exists around us, through things like empathy, compassion, patience, understanding and tolerance.

Freeing ourselves from our ego will free us from aversion, dislikes, repugnance, antipathy and opposition that is usually the source of our suffering, unhappiness and restlessness, which all come from the ego.

17 Feb, 2018

10 thoughts on “A life without an ego

  1. Well that does make a lot of sense, seeing as I tend to be what they call in AA ‘an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.’

    One minute I can feel like the master of the universe and next I feel lower than whale crap. People see me as a normal person on the outside, where I’m confident and self assured, whereas on the inside, I’m like a young child afraid of his own shadow.

    They only see what I allow them to see, since I grew up in a world where you had to; or else get attacked by all of the monsters out there who prey on the weak and defenseless.

    I can play that part oh so well, but inside I don’t have any clue as to who I really am, which is what I need to figure out. The most I want is to just be a decent human being and to not be totally forgotten after I’m gone.

    1. Randy, you’re decent, but it doesn’t matter what other people think as long as we know we’re decent. We tend to play to other people’s tune and forget that we need to play to our own.

      Given your upbringing it’s not surprising you lost sight of ‘who you are.’ It’s easy to feel one way inside and to the world we seem different again, but I believe with work on yourself you can be who you’re supposed to be.

      As a child growing up internalising everything helped me understand who I was, but I’ve seen first hand how the ego works and it really doesn’t sit pretty.

      I would rather have less friends without an ego, than have numerous friends with an ego, just so I get to fit in. I would rather not have to fit in.

      The reality of course is that we must fit into our own lives. We have to get to know us before we get to know anyone else.

  2. There is no room for an ego in any relationship. I remember being asked if I had an ego in a job interview once.

    The reason they asked was because the Managing Director had an ego as big as a planet and there wasn’t any room for another. His ego ultimately was his downfall.

    It’s a sign of self-centred superiority to which I hold no weight and I agree, anyone can lose the ego if they wanted to. But I doubt anyone with an ego would agree to having one in the first place.

    1. Thank you. Yes, where you say, ‘his ego ultimately was his downfall,’ that is exactly what happens when we live by our ego.

      Sadly, we tend to lose our own identity and the ability to think things for ourselves. We need more empathy, tolerance, patience and understanding.

      I’m just wondering what happened to the good old fashioned values that brought people together.

  3. Like a double-edged sword, ego has its advantages and its disadvantages. It regulates the duality of our existence and helps us to balance opposite or competing forces. Popular as the idea of ego-dumping is, trying to live without one, would be like attempting to drive after a lobotomy.

    Ego is the mediator between you and me, between my self and the world. Without my ego, there would be only inner me and no road map on how to engage with the outer world.

    Would it not be productive for an individual to communicate with ego the same as ego mediates for you and me? It seems that people today are being shown the easier way, to throw out the baby with the bath water instead of simply changing the water as needed.

    1. Hi Henry and welcome to the site. If I worked from my ego, I would probably have agreed with your response, but never having used and worked from my ego, I don’t agree. I only see disadvantages.

      Unless we engage with the ego and point out its flaws as it goes, we will always be prisoner to what our ego tells us to do, or how it tells us to behave.

      Having never worked from my ego, I have learned a better way to be, because the language I use is based on my own understanding on how the universe expects me to behave.

      Where you say, ‘without my ego, there would be only inner me and no road map on how to engage with the outer world.’ Perhaps that’s the point. You can personally engage with the outer world without your ego, it’s how learning how to do that.

      We will learn more about ourselves and learn how ‘appropriately to behave’ without the use of our ego. When the ego speaks for us, we can never fully be in control of our thoughts, feelings, interpretations, or communications.

      The ego will use sarcasm, wit and humour that isn’t always appropriate. It speaks first before we have a chance to validate its thinking. But the ego will continue to keep us prisoner whilst it speaks for us, when we should choose to speak for ourselves.

      We must live our life without the ego, because to live with the ego dictates how the ego choose to behave. Where we don’t speak for ourselves, the ego will speak for us.

      Also, the ego if left to its own devices will continue to divide families, society and the world through its tone. It will also continue to cause unnecessary friction and conflict between people.

      Without the ego, society and the world will be less divided because people would stay and work together more.

  4. Dear Ilana, thank you for sharing your insight and experience on the most important issue facing Homo Sapiens.

    We shall never find true contentment without finding true selfless love of another. The power of love is more powerful and sustaining than any other force known to man, but love does not put food on the table.

    I was lucky because I was highly successful financially. My personal life paid the price of my selfish pursuit of power and wealth. The question is how on earth can one marry surviving modern urban living whilst subjugating the ego?

    Would Facebook, amazon, apple, Netflix, google have been born without drive, without winning, without constant fights, without ego? Definitely not.

    So here in a nutshell we have one of the key problems of human life. Unless you are a monk how simply do you pay the bills without ego? You wrote the universe does not need appreciation etc. True but it also true the universe needs not feed its family.

    1. Welcome to the site and thank you for your response.

      The ego is an earthly trait that we have evolved with and rely heavily on. But we are spiritual beings having an earthly experience, it is up to us whether we choose to work from the ego.

      I believe our world would look and feel differently if we were to all work from the soul. I hate to bring politics into my blog, but it is a good example of how ego has become of prime importance and decisions are being made on the back of it.

      If that isn’t the case why would anyone inflict this amount of pain and suffering on others, when all we want to do is live our lives?

      I think each of us need to understand ‘spirituality’ we must work from the soul, for our lives to change. Each blog I write comes from the soul. Each answer and message I impart to my readers are given to me by ‘the universe.’

      It is an understanding like no other understanding. It is the spiritual way that must then become a way of life. Through my writing and my blog, I have proved that we can bring about success and not rely on the ego to do it.

  5. I’m so glad I came across this blog, because I would have still be in denial saying I don’t have a ego. I admit I do and I’m releasing ego now and forgiving myself.

    I will not let ego dictate my life anymore, I am now living in my truth and in freedom. Thank you so much you’ve truly have changed my life; God bless.

    1. Hi Destiny and welcome to the site. Where you say, ‘I am now living in my truth and in freedom’ – that is exactly what a life without an ego gives you.

      You’re living your life free of the shackles that an ego impresses upon us. A life that ties us into an altogether different thinking and a different version of who we are.

      Yes with words and thoughts that come from the ego, but not from us, which dictates how we get to live our lives.

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