About true friends

I just don’t get it. They say true friends go long periods of time without speaking and still never question the friendship. A true friend implies the presence of the deepest connection, so why would anyone with those connections choose to go long periods of time without connecting?

The quality of any friendship will usually depend on how we’ve been brought up and whether the emphasis we had was on people or things. It’s important for anyone who wants to have true friends, to be a true friend. Personally I’m not sure going long periods without speaking to someone we care about, can be classed as a true friend. A true friends’ priority should always be to keep in touch.

A true friend completely understands our past, is someone who believes in us and will be there in our future. True friends make time for one another and will put the other first in times of need, without making an excuse for not being in touch. When we’re going through hard times that’s when we find out who our true friends really are.

We seem to live in a different era now where our priorities are slightly antiquated. We tend to forget about others, as we continue to deal with what’s going on in our own lives. Our priorities have changed. If we genuinely care about the people in our lives we will always make time. Nobody should be too busy to be a genuine friend.

There seems to be a new kind of acceptance on what friendship means and society’s running with it. The balance has shifted. We’re no longer in touch. We accept that and still class ourselves as true friends. Regardless of whether we agree with its new form or not, the old-fashioned form always put people first.

In my own mind, when we’re not in touch for weeks or months at a time, I’m not sure where that makes us a true friend.


22 Feb, 2015

6 thoughts on “About true friends

  1. In my humble opinion, true friendship is unconditional and I emphasize the word true; it does not require a litmus test or a set of rules to validate the sincerity of the relationship.

    My best friends are distant friends, it just seems to work out better that way, for me.

    1. Thanks Tim. I agree with your first paragraph and would add that I don’t think it matters whether friends are long distance or local; what matters is what both people bring to the relationship.

      Technology and advances in communication have made communication with friends long distance, much easier.

  2. As friendship must be a two-way street, I think there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ approach.

    What works for some people won’t work for others. What matters is an understanding and emotional connection and I guess what you’re saying is that is harder with distance.

    1. Absolutely! I agree with you that friendship comes in many forms and one size doesn’t fit all.

      We all want and expect different things from our friendships; but I’m still trying to work out why anyone with deep connections wouldn’t want to make more of an effort.

      Although we tend to leave off and get on easily with those true friends we have a connection with, time is short, none of us know really what’s round the corner, so why wouldn’t we want to spend more time with the people we have close and deep connections with.

  3. My best friend lives 45 miles from me. She is busy with her job and family. I am busy with my family and trying to get a job 2 days a week.

    We understand each other and if we need one another for any reason we’re just a phone call away. We try to schedule lunch together once a month, but sometimes we just can’t do it. When we do manage to meet up, we pick up where we left off; no problem. I think people can be true friends without having to talk or keep in touch on a daily or weekly basis.

    A true friend will accept a friend’s busy life, not expect them to drop everything. True in the long ago past, people had more friends, more time and no technology at all. I remembering writing letters when I was a teenager to my friend and cousin and I’ve kept all of the letters I received back, as my friend and cousin have.

    That’s a true friend, memories and good times together and some sad times. A true friend is like a rose without thorns.

    1. Thanks Lisa. As you point out, times have obviously changed and society has begun to accept new understandings on previous meanings that played out differently when you and I were growing up; but just because society comes to accept something new, doesn’t always mean it’s for the better. That is my belief.

      There will be times when it’s not always possible for us to see friends, but every effort should be made to at least try. Life is short. None of us really know what’s round the next corner.

      Perhaps that in itself becomes a good enough reason for us to make more of an effort. Just a thought.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *