Bad behaviour

5 Feb 2017

It’s usually the case that because we’re allowed to get away with bad behaviour, there’s no real reason for us to change.

Unfortunately, any unaddressed issues over time will begin to seep into our habitual behaviour, through our personal operating system, but unless our behaviour is dealt with as a child, as adults we won’t work to change and will continue to get away with inappropriate behaviour.

Sadly, even with strategies in place, there are no guarantees children will fall into line, but strategies are a start and are better than nothing. There are times when the underlying signs of inappropriate behaviour aren’t diagnosed or are a smokescreen for a bigger underlying problem.

Any behaviour that is bad or inappropriate will not only drive other people away, but will inevitably be the reason we end up pushing others away, because there’s only so much others will put up with.

My behaviour as a child, was a non-diagnosis of what would turn out to be a massive revelation for me, years down the line. Children will always play up if they’re struggling emotionally and is often where a child’s inappropriate behaviour begins. It’s up family to find out or understand why.

As the adult of course when communication breaks down or turns into bad or inappropriate behaviour and that behaviour becomes more frequent, then we need to take a step back and assess where we are emotionally.

4 Responses to “Bad behaviour”

Post a Comment
  1. Randy 05. Feb, 2017 at 6:57 pm #

    People so often wonder why others do such bad things and it’s usually just because they can. If they are always getting away with it and they don’t have any consequences, of course they’re going to keep doing it.

    We grew up in a world where my parents barely acknowledged our existence, let alone punished us for our bad behavior. It was great at the time because we could almost get away with murder, but on the other hand they never noticed any of the good things we did.

    I became a very angry child and started acting out in ways that most parents would have sent me to an institution to figure out what was wrong with me. How it was that I didn’t become a Norman Bates type, is a miracle.

    We may have grown up with different parents, but in some ways they were very much alike. Mine didn’t talk a lot about what was really going on and didn’t seem to know how to teach us what we needed to learn.

    The only way I learned about what was right and wrong was from the books I used to read about King Arthur and the like. My heroes weren’t my parents, but the people in comic books.

    It just would have been nice if they had allowed us to have our own lives and taught us what was appropriate or inappropriate, like most normal parents do.

    They were always highly inappropriate around other people and out in public so we were actually very ashamed of them and therefore us too. I was actually a very good kid but in the end, it just didn’t matter.

    • Ilana 05. Feb, 2017 at 7:13 pm #

      Thanks Randy. I get you. Unfortunately, though we can’t turn back the past on those times of course, all we can do is make ourselves stronger and change things in our present for our future.

      I was angry for many years. I remember that as if it were yesterday. I understand when you say you were also angry. My parents were lucky I didn’t play out, but I can see how easy it would have been to do that. It’s not your fault. You were clearly acting on what was going on around you.

      All you can do now is change how you do things from here.

  2. Brad 06. Feb, 2017 at 7:38 pm #

    When I read this I remembered a saying that I used to remind me of the way someone parented. He exemplified the saying, “don’t do as I do, do as I say.”

    This is the worst form of behaviour as it sends the wrong signal. Do what you are told because I am telling you, but ignore how I conduct myself. It sure taught me how not to parent!

    • Ilana 06. Feb, 2017 at 9:21 pm #

      Thanks. I think your last sentence sums up your response nicely. If we take one thing from our parents’ parenting this way, it’s how not to parent. Yes, quite.

Leave a Reply