Be confident, not arrogant

Many of us who are confident turn out to be arrogant.

Unfortunately, over-confidence can spill into arrogance and no one likes arrogance, let alone having to deal with someone who is arrogant. Confident people ooze optimism and that makes them emotionally strong, but it’s often seeing themselves as superior that changes the state of play.

People who are outwardly arrogant are single-minded. In their mind, they think they’re already superior to others; but the reality is that inwardly they believe they’re inferior. The arrogance we see in others is often a cover up, of how we feel about ourselves, particularly when it comes to dealing with other people we see as superior.

Arrogant people will make themselves feel better by tearing others down, where confident people who already feel good about themselves, will have no desire to tear people down. Confident people will have respect for others, where arrogant people will have difficulty listening to others and instead will listen to themselves. Unfortunately, arrogant people won’t be told anything and will often preach to others.

Where confident people claim fame to their own success and are humbled by all that they’ve achieved, arrogant people will have no hesitation in letting you know what they’ve achieved. It’s almost impossible to communicate with those who are arrogant, because they always think they’re right. They only take their position on things.

Confidence comes from being optimistic and positive, whereas arrogance is the result of a defence mechanism brought about years of unconscious thinking to prevent being criticised further, therefore we must be confident, not arrogant.


30 Nov, 2016

6 thoughts on “Be confident, not arrogant

  1. Self confidence is something I really struggle with, whereas I detest those who are arrogant and expect to be worshipped!

    I grew up being pretty much invisible in my brother’s shadow, which I partially didn’t mind since they would leave me alone. I never really had a chance to develop my own identity, which is a big part of what I’m trying to do now.

    I have been gaining confidence by being able to do things on my own like car repairs that used to perplex me. I am definitely not stupid, considering this was done by watching videos on youtube and using the right tools for the job. I could have been an engineer since I like to figure out how to make things work.

    Arrogance would be more like someone being able to do something, like be good at football and making sure that the whole world knows. You see it all the time on TV with athletes who rant and rave about how awesome they are. What you don’t often see is the people who really do most of the work behind the scenes.

    They don’t always get a lot of the credit they deserve, but seem to be happy just knowing that things worked out because of their efforts. This is confidence when they aren’t expecting a ticker tape parade or pretty much anything, so they’re really the unsung heroes.

    I want to be able to find the happy medium that works for me, instead of always focusing on what’s best for everyone else.

    1. Yes, thank you Randy. I absolutely agree with you. It’s a shame that so many celebrities, in the public spot light buy into this kind of life and lifestyle.

      It’s okay to be recognised for the things we do, particularly if we put ourselves out to help others, but as you rightly say; it’s the unsung heroes that deserve to have the accolade, the people behind those who carve out successful careers.

      I love the fact that you’re gaining more confidence in what you do. I think learning the way you have gives us the most satisfaction and that in turn makes us feel good and confident about ourselves; the key is making sure confidence doesn’t spill over into arrogance.

      I’m impressed by your determination to turn your life around doing what you love to do and you’re good at it. Keep up the good fight.

  2. I can’t stomach arrogant people, there is simply no place for it.

    I think it’s usually a sign of something else in that person’s life that they feel they have to be arrogant instead of themselves; so to me it is a weakness disguised as strength that people can see through.

    1. Thanks. I have had experience of arrogance and couldn’t agree more. I hate arrogance, having grown up in an environment of arrogance. Arrogant people are insecure, but it’s not something they’ll agree with or work to change.

      Those are my experiences. I think your last sentence sums up your response beautifully. Arrogance clearly is a weakness disguised as strength. How many of us actually see others as being arrogant, unless we’re aware of it ourselves? I wonder.

  3. Insanity, that’s what it is, people who are swollen to the point of no return, arrogant. But life ends up crushing them to death when their facade decays. I can spot arrogant folks a mile away.

    Brad’s last paragraph is the perfect response to this blog.

    1. Thanks Tim. Insanity is exactly what it is, but people will never see their arrogance as insanity. When they get to the arrogant stage, they’ve already past a place of no return.

      I say a place of no return, because unless they’re aware and choose to change their arrogant behaviour, they will never return back to how they were before they became arrogant.

      Yes, Brad’s response is the perfect response, as is yours.

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