Changing the initial response

Changing the initial response to something is important if we are to avoid closing ourselves further in. Sadly, without changing the initial response, we cannot expect anything to work or change. The initial response needs to change if our circumstances are to change.

When it comes to obsessions or compulsions, without working on the initial response that can take away the concern or worry, we will end up moving boundaries to fit and work around our obsessions. We tend to work around what we’ve always done than choose to change the initial response that will give us a better outcome.

In time, we cannot expect our initial response to work, because with time moves situations or circumstances and on our part it’s important we meet those new demands.


1 Jun, 2018

2 thoughts on “Changing the initial response

  1. Yes, what I am finally figuring out, is that I can’t always go with my first thought, seeing as that’s what has always gotten me into trouble.

    I grew up in a world where most of the time we didn’t have a chance to think about how we would respond, but simply had to react if we wanted to survive. This works great for the short term, but definitely doesn’t work very well for the long term, considering how my life has turned out.

    I learned that lesson after what I went through in the last month, after making a quick decision that led to me losing the relationship with my own daughter. It was the worst month of my life, after watching my daughter turn her back on me without even looking back and now I have to learn to live with it.

    My point being, that there is a very big difference between reacting and responding. Every time I have gone with my first thought, as in reacting, it has always ended badly, because I don’t always see what’s really going on and end up wondering what happened.

    If I actually take the time to think about what it is that I really need to do, things usually go a lot better. It was those very life skills that we were never taught, so my siblings and I only learned how to survive and ended up just existing, which hasn’t been much of a life at all.

    It makes sense now as to why I have felt so empty inside and wanted to kill myself, seeing as I have felt more like a zombie than anything else. I now have to learn what it’s like to actually live, so that I can finally feel like I’m doing more than just existing. It would be nice to finally feel human!

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, we get what we’ve always done instead of thinking about how we need to change what we’ve always done, so that the something else works better.

      But that goes for the other person too. We must work together so that we respond with each other instead of choosing to react first, then respond.

      If perhaps you we’re to think about your first thought and what repercussions that might have, you might be less likely to react.

      I’ve seen others in my life react first. It tends to happen when feeling emotionally threatened.

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