Children living with abuse

The World Health Organisation distinguishes four types of child maltreatment, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect and emotional and psychological abuse.

The “WHO” shouldn’t have to distinguish between the four types of maltreatment, we should want to be and do better, but as my own story shows having had my own difficulties to deal with, regardless of what adults have to deal with, whether it’s a parent or grandparent, or an institution, there is no excuse for child maltreatment.

Child maltreatment happens when parents ignore their child’s needs and then continue to overburden them with guilt over what they deal with. Being a parent myself, I know how important it is that we put our issues aside and give of our best and continue to make our best work in the interests of our children, regardless of what we get to deal with.

Children become aware of the family dynamics from an early age, even the ones they can’t change and although they may not always hone-in on what their struggles are or what they mean, they still continue to believe their parents have their back.

It is only when children reach adulthood that the damage done by their parents will manifest itself in mental health issues, particularly if they’re still exposed to living in a hostile and toxic environment. It is wrong for any adult to behave in ways that are inadequate, cruel or indifferent to a child’s needs, or continue to exploit children inappropriately.

Children are not always aware of being maltreated, primarily because that goes against the trust they have in their parents.


13 Nov, 2018

4 thoughts on “Children living with abuse

  1. Any type of maltreatment of a child isn’t okay as far as I’m concerned. I went through the neglect and psychological abuse which was bad enough.

    I would have rather been physically abused since those scars will heal, but the mental and emotional ones never do. I’m still haunted by those echoes from the past that have made my life a living hell that most people don’t understand and can’t even begin to comprehend.

    This has caused me to pass on the neglect of my own daughter, who didn’t realise how much she was being used and abused by her own mother which has left her emotionally crippled on top of the CP she has to deal with.

    The most I can do now is to work on getting better myself and hopefully one day help her to deal with her own issues too.

    1. Thanks Randy. Agreed, any child maltreatment is not acceptable. Please don’t be too hard on yourself.

      I know from my own experiences, it’s not always easy to understand we have been abused. It’s not something we consciously comprehend, unless we look back at the unconscious patterns.

      That said, now you are aware you have tried to do something about it and therefore cannot be blamed.

      Until your daughter becomes aware of the abuse her mum has put her through, she’ll never be able to see what you are trying to do.

      All you can do sit back and wait for your daughter to understand her life and what you have tried to do. She’ll get there.

  2. I agree, no abuse is acceptable. There are very many facets to abuse and unless we break the cycle the abused often go on to abuse.

    A child is an innocent party, unfortunately as adults we don’t even recognise abusive behaviour.

    1. You’re spot on with your response and it is for those reasons that the cycle of abuse is broken.

      Not everyone will understand, see or recognise their own abused behaviour. But as hard as it is to hear, even if someone doesn’t see that they have abused, they must accept when other people tell them that is what they have done.

      We must learn to get past our own shortcomings. I think that is part of the problem here. There’s always something wrong with someone else, never something wrong with us.

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