Unfortunately, conflict is inevitable and although it’s part of everyday life, there is sometimes no getting away from it.
That said we can use experiences involving conflict to embrace a new understanding. Conflict is usually a way of telling us that something isn’t right. That perhaps we’ve said or done something that reflects an uncertain outcome. It’s not something we should leave, but something to be dealt with and a new way of responding to a person or situation.
Conflict is an opportunity for learning, an opportunity for us to question the way we do things. We can all go on to create better lives for ourselves through our experiences with conflict. Although most of us learn through conflict, we don’t always learn enough to move away from it and therefore will invite more conflict into our lives.
By understanding that the way we’re doing things isn’t working properly, should allow us to start thinking differently. We should stop wanting to retaliate, because that is what conflict really means. I believe we can all learn to consider our actions more purposefully and create more conciliatory choices. There is always more than one response open to us.
To create a sense of control and balance, we must always choose a better way to think. And we must also stop being a victim. We must lose the fear, frustration, isolation and helplessness we constantly associate with being a victim. We’re as much a victim as we choose to be.
We can choose to walk away from a life that involves conflict. It’s about changing our perceptions. Perhaps we should choose not to see people as perpetrators, because that really doesn’t help and instead begin to use mediation as a tool to communicate, to get our point across.
We tend to use conflict destructively, which means no one wins. It’s not a competition and yet we behave as if we are in competition, always having to have the last word. Besides, conflict has nothing to do with argument, what we said, what the other person said.
Conflict is something that’s inside of us, usually brought about from childhood experiences, not yet dealt with. Conflict is the scapegoat of all our problems.