Friendship traits

Have you ever found yourself gravitating towards your friend’s traits? It has been proven statistically that the traits your friends have will become your traits within 5 years.

It’s fine if your friends are caring, compassionate, successful, healthy and positive, you would never want to part from them, but what if your friends are negative, passive, irritable, or leave you feeling completely drained, then what?

It’s never easy making the ultimate decision on any friendship. There is always an element of guilt on our part, when we think about walking away. I have personally been in that situation and although I have seriously considered walking away, I have always tried on some level to work or talk things out.

Talking things out isn’t easy either. People may always see your talk as a form of criticism. I see it as constructive; if it’s something that I can do to make my life more positive. If there was still no change, introducing new friends into your social circle would always be another option.

In effect that would mean cutting down on the amount of time you spend with your negative friends, so that you spend more time with your positive friends. In the long term, you’ll notice how much of a difference it makes.

It’ll also mean you’ll learn how to deal with negative friends better, because you’re around positive people more.

21 Nov, 2012

6 thoughts on “Friendship traits

  1. I don’t have a lot of experience with friendship because I never really had any. Just one friend that is still my best friend.

    She has been there and I have been there for her through many years, actually since we were in first grade. We don’t see each other a lot because of living distance, but we do communicate via the phone.

    I think friendship should be a give and take situation. You give each other support and you take away a warm feeling if you’re very close to that person. I also think there is a place for criticism and true friends will understand if they truly care for one other, that they can say anything and the other person won’t get upset about it.

    I agree with you on the negativeness of people. You do take on their qualities, be it good or bad.

  2. My friend Pat and I had similar interests and were involved in the same organization so we had a lot in common.

    We enjoyed each others company. I think that is what it comes down to with friends. You can always be yourself and don’t have to worry about what you do or say. Being accepted for who you are.

  3. It was very difficult for me to have real ‘friends’ when I was a child since I grew up having to be such a chameleon! It was always easier to just try to blend in with the crowd, rather than trying to be myself.

    This led to many bad choices as far as people who I thought were friends,but nothing more than emotional vampires. I would always put 110% into the friendship and usually get treated like dirt for all my efforts.

    My best friends have actually been people I met in AA which has been one of the healthiest things I could’ve done.

    If I can learn to stay away from those ‘toxic friends, my life will be so much better!

    1. What you say makes sense Randy. When you go into something like AA you’re there because you feel you need to be there.

      At that point, you’re ready and willing to re-build your life. The friends you make through those experiences are going through the same as you. You already have one thing in common so automatically have a common bond and that’s when they may become life long friends.

      I believe these kind of friendships can work and often do.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Order my new book

Ilana x