Control can be very much part of our lives if we let it. Whether it’s from a family member or friend, it’s important to our health and wellbeing not to let that happen.
There is often someone in our lives who outwardly means well, but has a controlling side to them that we don’t always equate or tap into; or we turn a blind eye because it’s easier; less complicated that way.
So how do you know when someone is controlling you? Being controlled means we lose our individuality, particularly when decisions are made for us, usually brought about by someone with a need to control. Another characteristic of controlling behaviour is heightened sensitivity. That person may become sensitive at something you say that someone else would see as constructive and yet they see it as a criticism of themselves.
They may also be jealous of others’ relationships, particularly if it means that person spending time with someone else or paying attention to someone else. There are people who have had particularly hard backgrounds, who don’t always manage to cope with their lives and become controlling as a means of taking control of their own lives for however long they can.
There are also people who care, who don’t always show traits of excessive, abnormal behaviour, but may be insecure having had very little input from their own childhood and although their behaviour is controlling, it’s usually done in good grace, but can still be harmful.
Any type of control is harmful to us emotionally and unless the cycle is broken, it’s very easy to replicate this kind of behaviour with our own children. It’s fine to be protective of our children, in many respects we need to, given the world we’re living in, but children need room to grow, to be able to make their own decisions and as parents that is what we need to allow them to do.
I am sure we all know one person in our life that is well intentioned, but perhaps controlling. Maybe now it’s time to take control and for us to change that. In my experience, it’s the only way to find peace.