Control can be very much part of our lives if we let it happen. There is often someone in our lives who outwardly means well but has a controlling side to them that we don’t always equate or tap into; or we may turn a blind eye because it’s easier. It seems less complicated that way.
How do you know when someone is controlling you? When you lose your individuality by someone with a need to control. When someone becomes sensitive at something you say that someone else would see as constructive and they take it as a criticism.
They may also be jealous of other people’s relationships, particularly if it means that person spending quality time with someone else or is paying attention to someone else. People who don’t manage to cope with their lives become controlling as a means of taking control of their own lives for however long they can.
There are also people who care, who don’t always show traits of excessive abnormal behaviour, but may be insecure having had very little input from their own childhood. Although their behaviour is controlling, it’s usually done in good grace, but it can still be harmful.
Any type of control is harmful to us emotionally and unless the cycle is broken, is very easy to replicate. It’s fine to be protective of our children, in many respects we need to, given the nature of the world we live in; but on the other side children also need room to grow, to be able to make their own decisions.
As hard as it is, as parents we must allow our children to take control of their own lives.