When we go through any type of abuse, psychologically we become different people. Sadly, abuse runs through the generations and in families. Children who are subjected to abuse, tend to have to adapt to their environment.
When I was growing up it was generally accepted that children were young enough to adapt to their circumstances, children were resilient, we bounced back, but given my own ‘story’ I don’t agree. It’s not that children adapt, they have no choice, they have to make their circumstances work, but they are still mentally affected by their childhoods.
But any behaviour that begins to change the way we see ourselves, needs to change. Parents get away with neglect and control, because it’s not recognised or seen as abuse and where one parent is controlling, the other parent will be controlled by their spouse.
As the child, it is difficult to know how to feel towards a parent who controls, or neglects, or uses control, or neglect as a means of parenting. But as parents we must do what’s best for our children, regardless of what’s gone before us. Parents who have been abused, will go on to abuse and the cycle continues.
The cycle doesn’t have to continue if we’re able to recognise its signs and work on change. When it comes to abuse, any respect and love a child has for their parents is misguided. As children, we are programmed into believing we must respect our parents no matter how bad their behaviour.
They’re our parents, we tend not to think about or see them in any other way, until now. Society is now beginning to wake up, to see that all is not what it seems. For some children sadly that’s a little bit too late.