Creating Family Rituals

“In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by the number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.” – Marge Kennedy

Yes, if we were to think about our relationships with family, we may see how certain elements of this quote are true. The saying, ‘friends are the family you choose’ is how people view their friends, more than they view family.

When looking at another person’s family we may compare their family to our own. But not all families get it wrong, there are families who get the family thing right. They are supportive, non-opinionated, they are a team player.

By creating strong ‘family rituals’ ones that create independent, happy and moralistic children, you pave the way for them to create the same in their own relationships and with their own families. A legacy.

Where it is clearly families don’t get along, it is important to let go. The care, love and commitment of a family need to be balanced for ‘family to work.’

That said, we can all create strong family rituals that work, by dealing with issues and changing family patterns that have been passed down through the generations.


26 Aug, 2021

2 thoughts on “Creating Family Rituals

  1. You always put out blogs that resonate. It would be nice to have a family ‘thing.’ I never had it growing up myself and the only rituals my children ever had were imposed by others and that was hardly positive.

    To me memories are so important, and yet I have few to hold onto and the current pandemic means it is harder than ever to create new ones.

    1. Thanks. Yes, it is because I write from a ‘universal perspective’ that I write about things we may all deal with!

      This particular blog resonates with me too, because it is something I have missed out on also. I don’t think we are alone, or unique in that respect. I think Marge Kennedy’s quote is spot on. The rituals and memories of what families create aren’t always memories we need to have.

      Support and guidance is important, but where support and guidance lends itself to control and opinion that isn’t creating the right memories, or where you may be left to fend for yourself.

      The saying, ‘you parent as you have been parented’ whilst absolutely true, should be corrected through each generation. Sadly, it’s not.

      Where children may potentially be putting themselves in harm’s way, it is okay as a parent to offer a concern and opinion, but it would still be up to that child to decide, in the hope they think about the situation and perhaps go about that situation differently.

      I think for a parent, these conversations are necessary. We just hope that in time, children see it that way. They usually do when they have their own children.

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