I’m not sure anyone consciously chooses to abandon someone. The feelings of abandonment often weigh heavy on my mind. When I think about abandonment in those terms, it feels heavy, scary, big, unreal and feels unloved.
So how do we get past those feelings of abandonment?
Firstly, we must cut the emotional cord to those people who could have done more, but did very little and instead begin a journey of self-discovery, starting with self-validation.
Is when we acknowledge and accept ourselves. Acknowledging that we exist, acknowledging how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about being abandoned, recognising that fact; acknowledging the severity of the emotional scars we have sustained; that those scars even exist. We must learn to validate our scars and in doing so, continue to validate ourselves.
We must take responsibility for our own recovery. Even though it happened to us by someone else, we’re responsible for ourselves. No one else can heal us, but we can take responsibility and heal ourselves.
We must learn to take control of the pain that we feel. Give ourselves time to work through abandonment. We must actively build in daily activities that will sustain us in the longer term. Include support groups, friends and family we can talk to and trust, a therapist who will help us piece some of those feelings together and who will also teach us how to use validation.
We must learn how to transform the pain that we feel into personal and spiritual growth. Although we live with pain from our past, we don’t have to like it or live with it. We can learn to challenge how we feel and turn those feelings into positive actions. By bringing those feelings into our conscious mind, we can determine whether we need to carry those feelings.
Choose to stand on your own two feet
We all have it in us to become emotionally self-reliant. When we have something that we deal with has the potential to take us out of our comfort zone, we can learn to stand on our own two feet. I believe we will learn very little when we cruise and aren’t challenged.
Through self-validation we overcome the fears we associate with abandonment. We must choose to understand and then move on from it, so that we live more in the present. We must take back control and be in control.
We have the power to turn feelings of abandonment into positive personal growth, although sometimes it may feel as though we can’t. I know we can.