Dealing with repressed emotions

As a child, I kept my emotions to myself, because my childhood wasn’t a particularly happy one. Of course, things are different now because I’ve learned to deal with repressed emotions, just by talking about things.

When anyone talks about a repression of emotions, they’re talking about holding back on their emotions. It’s normally used as a means of survival, so that we don’t have to deal with our emotions, but from my own experience that only works in the short term.

Repression helps us manage our problems so that we can obtain a degree of emotional stability, particularly if we’re trying to work through painful situations, or our life becomes threatening in some way. Repression helps us block out unwanted thoughts, feelings and memories that if we were to think about would make us feel threatened or scared.

By storing those thoughts and feelings in our subconscious, we get to live our life in the short term. Repression involves denial and projecting our feelings and attention away from our conscious thoughts into our subconscious, blocking out any hurtful thoughts, but in the longer term it can never work.

Using repression is temporary. Unfortunately, our thoughts will always be there but need to be addressed so that we can live our life without holding on to issues or concerns from our past. Not addressing those will make us physically and emotionally unwell.

The problem with repression, is that we use it to avoid talking about what’s painful, but from experience however painful it is to address and talk about what we feel, we must do it so that we don’t get ill. Carrying such painful issues in the form of baggage can make us ill. I have seen that happen.

There is no quick fix to emotional healing, but us wanting to have a go is a good place to start. Consciously we need to tap into our subconscious emotions we constantly put on the back burner. We need to allow ourselves to respond on some of those bad experiences, so that we learn to tackle any problems in the present moment.

If we can learn to perceive and deal with our problems, we will get to live our life and live it well, without becoming ill from all the hurtful memories that in the longer term serve to hurt us more.


31 Mar, 2012

8 thoughts on “Dealing with repressed emotions

  1. I remember a lot of things and sometimes I’ll bring them up in conversation with others.

    I don’t keep things to myself that often. I remember all the good and the bad from when I was growing up, but most of it was good though.

    I had a good childhood I guess, considering I had type 1 diabetes.

    1. It’s good that you remember all the good and bad from your childhood. To me it clearly shows that although you had bad, they weren’t bad enough for you to block them out. I am pleased about that.

      All too often we don’t say what needs to be said and should. It’s great that you have learned to say what needs to be said.

  2. I remember watching ‘Star Trek’ (TOS) with my dad.

    I began to identify with Mr Spock and the way he controlled his emotions. From then on I wanted to be just like him. I did not like emotions, especially mine.

    I wanted to be the logical thinker that he was, without those pesky emotions getting in the way. Now, some 30 years later my wife tells me that I’m an uncaring, emotionless person who never learned to talk about or show emotion. 30 years ago I would’ve considered that a success.

    I kinda still do. Emotions never server my needs. But I’m learning to show them more!

    1. For starters Bill I am sure you’re not uncaring or emotionless. You’re probably like me, never found the right person to talk to who would appreciate you for what you were dealing with.

      I’m sorry to have to say this but I believe that when someone says we’re uncaring and emotionless, it’s usually because they are all of those things too! Someone who cares enough, helps rather than points out someone’s faults.

      It’s a shame your wife isn’t helping you work through your emotions. If she did, she would not only help you, but she would help herself too. She needs to be more understanding of what you go through emotionally living with CP.

      I don’t believe anyone is born angry or uncaring. I also don’t believe you are either of those things.

      As a child I never aired my emotions either, but deep inside I was the most caring child and very occasionally that side would come out. I was hurting too much. I think you are hurting too as well as being very frustrated.

      I can resonate with you on the problems you have about being a logical thinker. It’s putting logic into practice sometimes. I understand more than I am able to get back, particularly if I am asked to do something.

  3. Holding back on emotions is never good. Talk to someone or even start a journal.

    Venting is healthy and makes you feel a whole lot better.

    1. I totally agree with you. Holding on to emotions can make us physically ill. Unfortunately I have seen first hand how that works.

  4. I love this one. I think it’s really good and helpful for us to talk about our emotions and deal with them openly.

    I don’t think bottling our emotions up inside can be healthy. Love this post.

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