Drawing comparisons

We draw comparisons, but perhaps we shouldn’t, because drawing comparisons can lead to discouragement, doubt and fear. Comparisons may also limit our own ambitions if we choose to ride with them for long enough.

The truth is no one is better than you, because you’re walking your own path so there is no need for comparisons. When we continue to compare and draw comparisons with others, we’re giving ourselves numerous reasons to fail and were underselling ourselves. When we unconsciously continue to draw comparisons, we will also add struggle into the equation.

We draw comparisons because we’re struggling with insecurities. We hide behind a facade wishing our lives were different, living another person’s life instead of making the best of what we have. We spend too much time listening to others, instead of listening to ourselves.

We need to ignore the distractions and listen to our inner voice. Our inner voice is the voice of reason, the voice that will help us initiate the way we choose to live and move forward.

We mustn’t let our insecurities and negativity stop us from being the best we can be. It is usually the gap between what we have and what we think we need to make us happy that gives way for our need to draw comparisons.

The truth is that we don’t have to acquire things to be happy or content with who we are. We need to appreciate what we have and learn to be content in ourselves, in our lives and with each other.

Once we learn to appreciate what we have; the right conditions will start to line up around our own contentment.

31 Aug, 2014

4 thoughts on “Drawing comparisons

  1. I used to compare myself with my sister. She was always the “smart” one and I wasn’t so smart.

    She made the straight “A’s” and I made the “D’s” in school. She got the scholarships and I had to pay all for school (my father had to pay that is). Now it’s as if I was the lucky one.

    My father paid for everything I needed and she had to pay for the part of school that scholarships wouldn’t pay for and had student loans. She had to pay for her cars where as my father bought all my cars until the last 10 years, but I think it was equal with us.

    She got to do the things I didn’t and was smart enough to get into university, whereas I wasn’t allowed to participate in functions in school and wasn’t smart enough to get into the university even if I wanted to.

    It still bothers me though, because every time we talk she asserts her “smartness” and I feel like a dummy. I guess I still compare us even though I really shouldn’t. I know I’m not a dummy but I feel like one, sometimes next to her.

    What you say here is true. I doubt myself and feel inferior and shouldn’t do that.

    1. Thanks Lisa. You’re also smart, you just didn’t see yourself that way, because things came to your sister more easily. Children peak at different times and thrive in environments that allow them to.

      From what you say Lisa, it sounds as though you spent your life comparing yourself to your sister. Perhaps your parents should have sorted that out and intervened for you.

      It’s a shame because as you have so eloquently pointed out, after all of these years you’re still comparing yourself. It’s also a shame your sister makes you feel like that when you’re in her company. She is responsible for making you feel like that.

  2. I’ve noticed that many of your blogs reflect my thoughts in the moment. I was just thinking about this very subject before I visited this site; what a coincidence.

    I was recently in a conversation with someone who totally equated success and happiness with big homes, big cars, big every damn thing. I believe this person was indirectly comparing my modest life style with someone who has amassed impressive material wealth greatly beyond my acquisitions. How sad and how foolish.

    Happiness and worth has nothing to do with whether someone has more toys than someone else; that mentality is emotionally unintelligent and deeply shallow.

    I am happy with what I have achieved and I am content with who I am and who I am not.

    1. Thanks Tim! I believe the basis to all of our experiences are the same, that we will all have the same thoughts about people, things, life, life’s process, but that we’re not always aware. You’re aware, which is why many of my blogs reflect your own thoughts in ‘the moment.’

      I agree with your thoughts on happiness and worth. Neither has anything to do with whether we have a bigger house, big or fast cars, more toys… a more materialistic lifestyle. Unfortunately though, the more others do have, the less adequate we feel about what we have. The less adequate we feel, the more likely we are to compare and draw comparisons with others.

      Your last sentence is the backbone and catalyst for a more healthy and productive life.

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