Emotional distance

Emotional distance, clearly an indicator of a crisis, isn’t just something that happens within a relationship, it also happens in families. When anyone puts emotional distance between themselves and others, they are ultimately shutting themselves off to what was once a flourishing relationship.

The emotional bond in families and between two people need continual, constant care. We must all pay attention to our relationships, learn to care and pay attention to them so that we can maintain and reinforce our close bond.

It is important we continue to connect emotionally. That is the ideal, but relationships will often fail because they are weighed down by fears, history, insecurities and expectations that can create misunderstandings, miscommunications and emotional distance.

Family relationships are always the hardest to navigate, particularly where a shared history, and expectations initiate most or all of our difficulties and cracks begin to appear. It is important we pay attention to those signs.

Emotional distance if used appropriately, shouldn’t mean ignoring issues that need to be addressed, it should allow time for both parties to think about how they can fix their relationship. We must be aware of critical moments in the relationship; we mustn’t run from those.

Depending on our issues and circumstances, we may go through different stages in our relationships. Sometimes we will be less emotionally present in those times.


12 Jan, 2020

4 thoughts on “Emotional distance

  1. This is absolutely true. Relationships often fail because they are weighed down primarily by insecurities and expectations that go on to create misunderstandings, miscommunications and emotional distance.

    It is important we learn to talk more instead of keeping things to ourselves.

    1. Thanks. Yes, I agree, we must all do more to keep the channel of communications open. Our lives become separate the less we talk about things and life is stressful enough.

      We must learn to open up and talk about the things that matter.

  2. My parents were masters in the art of emotional distancing and trained me very well. The biggest problem was that it also meant doing the same with myself, which is why most of the time I don’t know what I’m feeling.

    People can’t begin to comprehend what this is like and don’t often believe you. There is only so long that you can distance yourself from your emotions before you get to the point where you don’t feel anything at all.

    I’ve said it before but it’s amazing that I didn’t end up as a Norman Bates type with the way my mother treated me. I think the only reason that I didn’t, was because I’m not capable of being the monster that she wanted me to be, thank God.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, you didn’t turn out like Norman Bates, because you were far too sensible.

      I think you were aware of your life from a very young age, but it’s clear you didn’t pamper to your mum’s wishes, although there were elements of control. I think that was a problem for your mum.

      When anyone grows up in a dysfunction family, they are trained to a certain extent; but that changes as soon as they consciously think about things, rather than them rely on their unconscious thinking.

      And the more understanding we are of our situation, the more our life will change. It is important we are proactive in all circumstances.

      It is massively important we connect with our feelings, distancing ourselves shuts us off from not only our feelings, but from those close to us.

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