Our emotions will either protect us or hurt us, but uniquely, what we all have in common are the emotional ties that bind us together, it doesn’t matter what the emotion is.

I was emotional. I wanted others to help me and take responsibility for my disability. I wanted others to listen, I wanted a voice. I just existed. I was frustrated, irritated and angry. When I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t happy, instead I was quiet and when I wasn’t all of those things, deep down I was the most kind and caring person, and those caring qualities are still with me today.

But no matter our circumstances or emotions, it is important we learn to remain positive, so that we can move on from just ‘existing’ in our lives. We will never make any positive contributions when we’re just existing and being negative. As we unconsciously continue to blame ourselves for the things that we’ve failed at, we’re setting other free to continue with their lives.

It is also important we learn to talk about how we feel. Talking about the things that matter or that bother us will help us stay and keep the mind safe. Emotions are the most powerful tool we have. Emotions need to go somewhere: if they’re not being expressed, they’re going inside.

By ignoring our emotions, they will eventually start to interfere with our health and will contribute to long-term illness.  The word disease is made up of two words ‘dis-ease,’ which is why it’s important for us to be at ease with ourselves.

6 Jun, 2010

6 thoughts on “Emotions

  1. I think this blog describes me to a tee, except I didn’t express all of those negative emotions and instead internalized and have kept them pent up inside of me.

    I am coming to believe if I resolve these internalized issues my life will have more balance and I will feel more in control of my life. I still have my walls up for protection with the exception of my wife Maria. With her I feel so safe as to be able to tell her everything and anything and this is helping me to see that my perceptions of things are not necessarily, facts they are merely my minds perceptions.

    Referring to being paranoid and not trusting therapists and doctors, I need to let myself trust them in order to get well since I am starting a program with new therapists and a doctor tomorrow. Well that’s enough for me.

    Thank you Ilana.

  2. Brian, I think your walls for your protection will be up for a little while to come, until you feel comfortable enough to let the right people into your life. Unfortunately as children, we put all our beliefs into the people we have around us who we believe we can trust and who should be there for us. The world should be like that but the world isn’t like that.

    In time you will learn who is good for you and who isn’t, like a first impression you will quickly work it out. You are on the right track though, let your therapists work with you now so that you can work on your past. Good luck.

  3. I have in the past also put up walls to protect myself after I have been hurt by someone or abandon. I put up a giant wall after my mother and best friend died and am just now coming out the other side. As a friend of mine said to my father 6 months after my mother passed away neither one of you have dealt with June’s Death. (my mother) It was very true. I was trying to be strong for my father and I felt I was not allowed to grieve properly at the time.

    In a lot of ways I have turned into my mother to deal with how my father is. I had no choice. In order to have calm and peace in the house I had to do it. Otherwise all we would do is fight. I did not want that. Neither would my mother.

    1. Your story Randy is the same as many others I am sure. It is very similar to my own story. When one parent dies, we somehow become a substitute parents for the parent we lose, not out of choice, unless the remaining parent is self sufficient and is happy to go it alone with his/her life without the children having to get involved on that level.

      I know your mother probably wouldn’t want you to fight with your father, but she isn’t the one who has been left to fight his battles. Your choices as to how you deal with your father should be your own choices now. Living your life through your mother’s eyes and being a substitute mother is not the way. I hope your mother would understand that enough to allow you to make your own choices for the way you want your life to go now.

  4. You are so right, if you do not get your feelings out they dwell inside and make you ill. That is why now I just let things out one way or another. I will confront my problems and discuss them with my significant other. Thanks for reminding me that I need to do that…

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