Essence of low self-esteem

When we choose to work through more of our thoughts, there is a lot we can learn and understand about low self-esteem. Our central beliefs and ideas about the kind of people we are, lie at the heart of how we feel about ourselves.

Thoughts are often brought about by our experiences, good or bad. If we have had nothing but praise or positive experiences, through others, about the kind of people we are, then the way we feel about ourselves is likely to be extremely positive.

If we have a mixed bag of thoughts, then we will have a range of different ideas about ourselves, which we will then use according to our circumstances. How we feel about ourselves is how we will live. If our experiences are nothing but negative, our opinions will be equally as negative. Negative opinions are at the heart of low self-esteem.

We must focus on ourselves, but instead we choose to prove our worth and abilities to those we shouldn’t have to prove our worth and abilities to, but instead we allow those people to control.

As a consequence, we live with low self-esteem, through our childhood, but it’s mostly through our adult life.

9 Aug, 2010

6 thoughts on “Essence of low self-esteem

  1. I tried to please others so much, but especially with my father nothing I did was good enough, it was like banging my head against a brick wall. So I stopped.

    I too wanted acceptance but the cost just was too high. Now if people don’t like me how I am that is their problem not mine. Throughout my life people were always telling me you need to change this or work on that people. Never accepted me the way I was. That hurts. But you get over it and move on. You have no other choice. Either that or go crazy. I chose to remain sane.

    1. Randy, I think low self-esteem and acceptance are closely linked. If we were able to live along side disability (however large or small), without low self-esteem, we wouldn’t please others so much but instead would choose to please ourselves, like those living without disability.

      We are slowly all coming to the same conclusions. We don’t need acceptance to fit in, we just have to be able to live our lives comfortably the way we want.

  2. For me personally, self-esteem has been up and down my entire life. Fortunately more positive then negative though. I always grew up with people saying all the things I could or would never do. I always took that on as a personal challenge to prove them wrong.. and for the most part I have. Mindset, self-esteem and acceptance are all interconnected in my opinion.

    1. LeAnna I totally agree with you. Mindset, self-esteem and acceptance are inter-linked, take one of those out of the equation and one will struggle.

  3. Yeah mine has been the mixed bag. I try to please others instead of pleasing myself, (very guilty of that). I also need the acceptance which stems from childhood. I didn’t feel accepted in my own family and with my peers.

    I was a troubled kid so I got into a lot of trouble, when I finally was given freedom I turned 17, so now I feel like I’m marked for life as a being troubled, especially by my extended family (aunts, uncles etc). I guess I’m paranoid about it.

    They probably don’t even think about it cause I’ve turned out pretty good even if I did make mistakes. But the self esteem problems has caused me to have troubled feelings all my life and I still do.

    1. You said it Lisa, you feel you are marked for life, but I don’t think others (your extended family) mark you.

      This is something you are carrying which doesn’t need to be carried. We all have a past where not proud of (including those in your extended family), but what matters is that you do make a difference now. Others will see that.

      It’s time for you to deal with your troubled feelings and move on. That way your self esteem will go through the roof, in the right direction!

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