There are many different families, in the same way there are people that are different. Perhaps that’s what makes us flawed? It seems to be the nature of how some families work. How some families see themselves, how they see each other and how they interact with each other, or not as the case may be.
It has long been assumed that people who grow up in good families with loving parents will turn out to be good, just as it’s assumed that children who grow up in bad families will turn out to be bad. Children who come from bad families won’t always turn out to be bad, in the same way children who come from good families, won’t turn out to be good. Other factors will always come into play.
The reality is that there are no guarantees on how we turn out. There is no set pattern in families that determines how we will turn out. Our identities and future are not always predetermined by our families, although with the right support and foundations in place, we have a head start.
Many children who have grown up in difficult families often turn out to be kind and conciliatory adults. Just because we start off one way, doesn’t mean we will continue or end in the same way. There is no set rule as to how we will turn out. It is up to us to change at any given time.
We may start off following patterns, family traits that constantly get played out in families, but from my own experience, both consciously and unconsciously, we get to re-write our own lives.