Feel what you feel

We hide behind different guises. We’re good at disguising, hiding emotional pain that comes from negative beliefs brought about by a person, or a particular situation. Those different guises are fear induced.

We’re afraid that if we show our vulnerability, we’ll be letting our guard down and that makes us look weak. That’s not altogether true, because when we open up and show others we’re dealing with our emotions, we become emotionally strong. Showing other people our vulnerable side, shows them how open and sensitive we are. It is liberating.

It is important to open up to explore what we feel, but it’s even more important to learn how to feel what we feel. We analyse and intellectualise our feelings, but we don’t feel them. Perhaps the reason why we choose to conceal our feelings is because it’s too painful to feel what we need to feel, or perhaps society is to blame.

Perhaps we’re also afraid that we may somehow lose control if we reveal our feelings to family, to friends and the world. Afraid of the pain involved in feeling what we feel. Perhaps our feelings are about a sense of loss, a sense of failure, a sense of pride, a sense of guilt.

Although it matters what we think, it matters more about what we feel. We can think and as long as those thoughts don’t ignite discord and disharmony we’re okay, but when we ignore our feelings and are afraid to feel what we feel because we’re not great at dealing with our emotions, we’re inviting illness in.

We must be more responsive to what we feel, to understand then own those feelings. Without owning and then dealing with our feelings, we will never be able to cultivate any form of empathy, compassion or tolerance.

Learning to feel what we feel not only helps us with empathy, compassion and tolerance through the process, but will go on to change how we see our life and our relationships.

26 Aug, 2016

4 thoughts on “Feel what you feel

  1. I grew up in a world where being able to feel my feelings wasn’t always an option, since we usually had to deal with one trauma after another.

    This is actually where my PTSD stems from, since I had to learn how to detach from all of those feelings in order to be able to survive. The problem becomes when eventually you get to a point where you aren’t able to reconnect, which makes it very hard to live.

    I’m sure that’s where a lot of my depression stems from, since I end up not feeling anything either good or bad. Humans aren’t meant to live like vulcans, so you can’t suppress all of those emotions forever, which then leads to what they would call a nervous breakdown.

    There is a part of me that doesn’t want to reconnect to all of those old feelings, but I don’t have a choice if I want to actually be able to feel again. However, it would be very nice to finally feel like a human being again.

    I’m actually a very sensitive person, but I haven’t felt like I could show that side to many people. I had family and friends who took advantage of that fact, to use and abuse me, which wasn’t very nice.

    I didn’t grow up in a very nice world so I should have known better, but it was my attempt at being human. I have to try to remember on a daily basis that it is okay to feel my feelings.

    Nobody is there anymore telling me how to think, act and feel like there used to be.

    1. You’re absolutely right Randy. There is nobody anymore telling you how to think, act or feel and I understand your sentiments about not wanting to reconnect with all your old feelings; but I feel it’s a necessity if we are to understand our experiences, move on and bring closure.

      We have to feel our feelings to be able to understand them. It doesn’t change what others have done of course, they are still very much accountable; but it does help us change our perceptions on our traumatic experiences.

  2. I sort of think of my feelings as my last line of defence, an isolated part of me armed with endless thoughts and secrets. But people with small minds are poised to exploit that if I’m too loose, that’s human nature I suppose.

    To learn to share what we feel by its very nature is liberating, but, is it safe?

    1. People will always exploit other people. You’re right it’s human nature but it’s vital we think about our feelings first and not think of them as our last line of defence.

      Without putting our emotions into order we will always struggle with ourselves, with our lives and with other people and to some degree will invite illness in. I have seen what happens first hand when we fail to deal with our emotions.

      Our emotions should be first on our list of priorities. Unfortunately, they seem to be our last.

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