Feeling lonely

It’s not always easy to understand how we can be surrounded by people and yet we feel lonely; all we know is we’re not happy.

Feeling lonely and being alone are a state of mind and our mind can always be changed, but first we need to know how and where to start. It usually starts with us in childhood and will depend on how we feel about ourselves.

The idea of being alone conjures up a sense of dread, particularly if being on our own means we’re forced to confront our thoughts and feelings. It’s something we’re not comfortable with. In fact, we would rather not confront ourselves at all.

Our feelings come from the soul. The soul is multi-layered and holds the powers of our thoughts, emotions and actions. It is the essence of who we are and is made up of and holds our unconscious, subconscious and conscious mind, emotions and wants.

The soul is connected to our experiences. It is an imprint of our behaviour. As soon as we change our behaviour, the soul’s imprint will change. How we feel about ourselves is important because that shapes how we will live our lives.

But deep-routed issues will always reside within us. It is those deep routed issues that form our struggles that highlight our dislike of feeling lonely. We must understand and work through each of our experiences, dealing with the issues we’ve not subconsciously resolved, such as trauma, loss or injustice.

Once we’ve dealt with our issues and we’re feeling more confident and at peace with our experiences, we will begin to feel more settled with ourselves and won’t mind being on our own.

We can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. Being alone and feeling lonely aren’t tied to us getting older. We can be any age and still feel lonely, but it becomes harder the older we get.


23 Nov, 2018

2 thoughts on “Feeling lonely

  1. Yes, I had that experience just yesterday, where I was standing in a room full of people and felt completely alone, even though I have known these people a long time.

    I guess it had more to do with the fact that only one person seemed happy to see me, which meant more than she could ever know. The holidays always bring out the worst of my old feelings, so it’s not surprising that this is happening.

    I’m feeling very lonely right now, since I’m living with someone who I really don’t want to be with. I shouldn’t be worried about being alone, since I have done it before; but I think it’s more a matter of standing my ground under the circumstances.

    It would be great if I was actually living alone but I don’t feel like I should have to be the one to move out, since the apartment is in my name.

    Those deep-rooted issues do seem to come out at the worst possible times. It comes from always feeling outside the box of everybody else’s world, especially when being around family during the holidays and being considered the black sheep of the family.

    We were allowed to be there for the family gatherings, but when it came right down to it, not a lot of people interacted with us, other than minimal polite conversation.

    Even now they still feel like familiar strangers, who I know have a familial resemblance but as far as any real connection outside of that realm, we still don’t belong.

    I would love to change that but I think I’m going to have to do the work on my own, when I’m finally on my own once again.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, as the saying goes, ‘you can choose your friends, but not your family.’

      I am sure there are many who feel the same way you do, particularly when it comes to high holidays. We are always reminded of those times when it comes to family gatherings. But it is their loss not yours.

      I think the key is caring less Randy, and just being okay with it, because you are what matters. I know that once you make a decision about the life you want to have and act on it, the less lonely you will be and the happier you will feel.

      We always feel torn when we continue to hold on to what we know. Emotionally, we must remove ourselves from how we still feel about the situation and get on with what we have in front of us.

      If that’s not right either, we must also correct that.

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