How not to be offended

1 Apr 2016

On a daily basis we come across and interact with people who knowingly or unknowingly are offensive and on our part, we let it happen. Only we have the power to stop it.

It doesn’t have to be that way of course. We can all choose to communicate differently. We can all choose to be a little more empathetic, a little more understanding. Just as we appreciate and hope people will come to understand our failings to communicate appropriately, so must we with others.

Below are several ways to prevent being offended:

  • Learn to tap into your own unconscious thoughts and learn to understand them, so that you’re able to deal with your past issues. We’re offended because we’re angry and we don’t know that’s what we are. Dealing with our issues will automatically bring more calm into our thoughts and into our life and that will always impact our conversations positively;
  • If you happen to live or have people in your life who use offensive behaviour as a communication tool, choose to distance yourself from them, or from them using offensive behaviour in front of you. Just because these people are in our lives doesn’t mean we have to put up with their bad behaviour;
  • Change your lifestyle so that you change from the inside out. Bring empathy, tolerance, patience and compassion into your understanding and use those as your mantras. Not only will you love the change in yourself and you’ll learn not to tolerate other people’s bad behaviour.

Finally, our circumstances and what we deal with are very much part of that scenario, but perhaps we must all change how we communicate.

6 Responses to “How not to be offended”

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  1. Brad 02. Apr, 2016 at 2:04 pm #

    I seemed to have the art of offending people people. Over time I have learned to listen to myself in my head before I open my mouth. I wasn’t angry or unhappy with myself, but not everyone shares my sense of humour. People don’t always find funny what I find funny.

    So I have learned to think about the recipient of my humour and in changing that, seem to offend less.

    • Ilana 02. Apr, 2016 at 2:11 pm #

      Thank you. Yes when humour is directed at people who are more serious, it can be seen as being offensive, particularly if the humour is directed at the person.

      I think it important to cut our cloth. Know who we’re talking to and then engage what comes out of our mouth. Ask yourself first, ‘will this offend?’ If the answer is yes, it’s not the right thing to say.

  2. Tim 02. Apr, 2016 at 7:00 pm #

    My insult level is little too worn to be tolerant of smooth talkers with inflammatory language or people who generally devalue my dignity.

    Whether you dress it in a white tie or just plain belligerent, a person will never receive pleasure being offensive to me.

    • Ilana 02. Apr, 2016 at 7:04 pm #

      Thanks Tim. Your last paragraph summarises your response nicely. I’m not sure any of us should have to tolerate others being offensive.

      • Tim 03. Apr, 2016 at 12:11 am #

        Unfortunately Ilana, some people actually feel a sense of pleasure by being offensive, and the ease with which they do it is very disturbing.

        But offensive people are sick and pathetic, and that’s not covered by most healthcare plans.

        • Ilana 03. Apr, 2016 at 10:03 am #

          Thanks Tim. Having been on the receiving end of offensive behaviour, I can’t help but think how it seems to be brought about through anger issues that haven’t been dealt with.

          A dry sense of humour spoken inappropriately, off the cuff remarks and stress can also bring about the same behaviour.

          I agree with you about the ease in which people are offensive. I also think the rate is quite disturbing. Happy people or people who don’t have anger issues or who are better at controlling their emotions aren’t offensive.

          People’s attitude and the world we live in definitely has changed. We seem to have less tolerance and patience towards each other.

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