How to let go of the past

To let go of the past, you need to include anything that you’ve struggled with that you’ve never wanted to deal with, or that you didn’t know was a problem until it became obvious to you it was a problem. It could also be that you’ve had things in your childhood that you’ve never come to terms with.

Anything or everything in your life that leaves you feeling that you are unable to cope.

These are the tips I found helpful:

  • Write down your thoughts in a journal or a letter, so that you get some of those hurtful memories out;
  • Talk to the people who are holding you back. It is important to be able to do this, particularly if not talking to them is stopping you from moving on;
  • Express what you feel. Share your feelings if you can, so you unburden yourself. If there are any mistakes you have made own them and declare them mistakes. Living in denial will keep you stuck;
  • When you let go of the past, you leave yourself open; in effect, you become more vulnerable. Accept that it’s okay to be vulnerable if it means being able to move on;
  • If you feel angry deal with it. A counsellor is usually a good starting place, or a good friend, someone who will listen.

Even if the people you talk to aren’t always listening to what you say, speaking your own truth will not only help with some of what you feel, but may sew a seed for the person you’re talking to. It’s just important to get your feelings out.

The past is the key to us living in the present successfully. Dealing with the past, also helps us make better decisions and form better relationships. Without ever dealing with the past, we can never expect to feel good in our present, unless of course you don’t have a problem with your past.

It’s never easy to deal with issues from the past, but speaking from experience and having done it, it’s well worth the effort. You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.


12 Jun, 2011

4 thoughts on “How to let go of the past

  1. I know I have several things in my past that I need to let go of.

    My fathers death, my divorce and death of my ex husband and a few indiscretions I have made. I’m dealing with the death of my father and my mother’s relationship with me.

    I feel better since I’ve started dealing with these things.

    1. I think we probably all do Lisa and it’s good that you’re dealing with yours. I believe it is the most important we’ll ever do in our lives and must.

      Thank you for being so honest.

  2. If we don’t deal with our past it can have an effect on how we live our life as a adult.

    It’s always better to deal with it as soon as we can or we will be struck. Not a good place to be.

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