Increasing our confidence

How do we improve on confidence? How do we turn our lives around from having no confidence to having some confidence? Having struggled with little confidence over the years, these are my top tips and they work for me.

Learn to be kind and generous: because when you’re kind and generous, you not only improve how you see yourself, but you learn to treat others as you would want them to treat you. This leads to us becoming happier.

Improve your self-image to how you want others to see you: when you improve your self-image by taking care of yourself, you will feel good about yourself. When you feel good, you will begin to believe in yourself. When you begin to believe you can do the things you’ve always thought you can’t, your confidence will start to increase.

Increasing your competence increases your confidence: but you have to have a go. Without having a go or at least try things, you will never have confidence or feel we’re competent enough. It’s the act of trying that increases your competence. It can be a vicious circle, but you must get past that if you are to succeed and you can.

Know and live by your principles: what are the principles upon which your life is built? The majority of us will go through our lives without any understanding of what our moral compass is and what it means. Without knowing, our life will continue to be directionless. My moral compass is based on the Golden Rule, ethical code and morality that lead me to live a more spiritual life.

Simplify your life: to include the people who you know are holding you back. Holding on to people who don’t have your back will pull you back even further. Also, learn not to look over your shoulder at what others have or are doing and try not to criticise other people. The more you criticise others, the more negativity you’ll have to deal with, the less confidence you’ll have.

Learn to go with the flow: accept what you can’t change and change what you can. Walk tall and continue to move forward.

Finally, although confidence grows and comes with maturity, as we face daily issues, it’s easy for the confidence we have to get knocked. When we believe in ourselves that’s when we will begin to walk tall, live with and increase our confidence.


14 Jan, 2015

4 thoughts on “Increasing our confidence

  1. Great suggestions. I believe my confidence is fairly good to a point.

    I say I can do something, but when I go to do it my confidence wanes and I get very nervous and often fail. Then I get very upset with myself and everything falls apart. It’s gotten worse as I have gotten older.

    I think stress has a lot to do with it. My mind is on other things and I can’t concentrate on what I’m supposed to be doing. I think if I get rid of the stress I will be better.

    Of course I can’t get rid of all the stress but some of it I can, if I try harder.

    1. Thanks Lisa. It becomes a vicious circle! We’re stressed and our confidence wanes and then by the time we’ve got rid of our initial stress, we become stressed again through more issues we have to deal with.

      I used to have the same thing. When I understood the correlation I stood back and began to find ways of dealing with many of my stressful issues, particularly when I was growing up. Try to take time to breath a little, to stand back so that you’re looking at your issues objectively. I’m sure you’ll begin to work things out. That’s what I do.

      There’s never a day that goes by where we’re not dealing with something. The key is our attitude. When our attitude changes and we’re able to let things go a little, we will handle our lives much better and that’s when the confidence will come back.

  2. Great post with some really good ideas. I have always been quite a confident and able person.

    My confidence has increased with experience and I am certainly a lot more confident now in pretty much any given situation that I have ever been.That in itself brings about more confidence so it is a self-perpetuating process for me.

    1. It’s lovely when we have confidence and I’m pleased you have it in the bucket loads. Even with the knocks I am sure you would still hold on to a lot of the confidence you have.

      It’s easy to lose the little confidence we have through the various setbacks, then we have to build our confidence back up again. I believe confidence is the catalyst for everything we do in our lives.

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