Learning to introspect

We know that introversion or introspection is the act of observing and thinking about ourselves and our lives objectively. Introspection is a conversation with us.

Both are used as a tool to help us look at our lives from the outside in. With introspection you look at how you talk, what you say and how you behave, how you feel and what makes you feel the way you feel. Through introspection you will come to understand yourself; your experiences; introspection helps you look at and question certain aspects of your life, so that you can deal with the issues you’re struggling to deal with.

Through introspection, you will find traces of your parents, similarities and disagreements with your siblings, with your parents, anyone you have shared an experience with. You will also find certain influences around your experiences, issues with experiences that include dysfunctional behaviour such as neglect, abuse and trauma.

If introversion or introspection is done properly, you will come away with a more balanced and fair opinion on your experiences; you will also see and understand everyone’s part in your lives and so that you’re looking at the bigger picture.

Introspection is not about apportioning blame or finding fault with others. Finding fault adds fuel to an already burning fire. It gives a balanced and fair account of your experiences so that you can move on. Introspection helps you find peace. It’s about understanding and coming to terms with your experiences.


28 Jul, 2018

2 thoughts on “Learning to introspect

  1. I have been introspecting for most of my life and the most it has done for me is cripple me with a paralyzing fear, as I can’t get beyond the mistakes I have made.

    I have to learn how to let go of the guilt, shame and remorse that my parents saddled me with, that isn’t mine. I also need to stop doing the morbid reflection that keeps me stuck in my head. I am unable to get out of it most of the time.

    Learning how to introspect without dwelling on everything seems to be a monumental task that I haven’t been able to overcome, until just recently. Like it says in the AA book, ‘we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.’

    There are just so many uncomfortable changes that need to be made in my life and that is definitely one of them.

    1. Thanks Randy. There are many reasons why when we introspect we don’t get the results we want. I know from my own experiences it’s easy to continue to carry the guilt even through introspection, when that guilt has now where to go.

      We must be prepared when using introspection that we go in with our eyes wide open and work on the facts. Do we even know all the facts? I think sometimes we’re not always fully equipped to understand the reasons why we feel a certain way, or why we make certain judgments.

      Parents aren’t always open enough. I’ve had to piece my own thoughts together with the little information I had, that made up the bigger picture for me. It’s taken me 8+ years to piece everything together.

      How you process the information and the content you have may differ and which is why you might have come out with a less than adequate response when you used introspection.

      That said, you are in control. You can choose how this ends; what experiences you choose to keep and what experiences you choose to let go of. Even without the apologies, through introspection we can let go.

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