Learning to introspect

Following on from my ‘Introversion for mental health blog,’ we know that introversion or introspection is the act of observing and thinking about ourselves and our lives objectively.

Both are used as a tool to enable us to look at our lives from the outside in. Introspection is us having a conversation with ourselves. With introspection we are able to look at how we talk, what we say and how we behave, how we feel and what makes us feel the way we feel. Introspection allows us to question and helps us to understand.

Through introspection, we find traces of our parents, similarities and disagreements with our siblings, parents, anyone we share an experience with. We will also find certain influences around our experiences, issues with experiences that include dysfunctional behaviour such neglect, abuse and trauma.

If introversion or introspection is done properly, we will come away with a more balanced and fair opinion on our experiences; we will also see and understand everyone’s part in our lives, so that we’re looking at the bigger picture.

Introspection is a way of us clearing the decks on our experiences, so we can get to feel calm and at ease with ourselves. It’s not about apportioning blame or finding fault with others. All that does is add fuel to an already burning fire.

Introspection is simply about understanding and coming to terms with our experiences.


28 Jul, 2018

2 thoughts on “Learning to introspect

  1. I have been introspecting for most of my life and the most it has done for me is cripple me with a paralyzing fear, as I can’t get beyond the mistakes I have made.

    I have to learn how to let go of the guilt, shame and remorse that my parents saddled me with, that isn’t mine. I also need to stop doing the morbid reflection that keeps me stuck in my head. I am unable to get out of it most of the time.

    Learning how to introspect without dwelling on everything seems to be a monumental task that I haven’t been able to overcome, until just recently. Like it says in the AA book, ‘we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.’

    There are just so many uncomfortable changes that need to be made in my life and that is definitely one of them.

    1. Thanks Randy. There are many reasons why when we introspect we don’t get the results we want. I know from my own experiences it’s easy to continue to carry the guilt even through introspection, when that guilt has now where to go.

      We must be prepared when using introspection that we go in with our eyes wide open and work on the facts. Do we even know all the facts? I think sometimes we’re not always fully equipped to understand the reasons why we feel a certain way, or why we make certain judgments.

      Parents aren’t always open enough. I’ve had to piece my own thoughts together with the little information I had, that made up the bigger picture for me. It’s taken me 8+ years to piece everything together.

      How you process the information and the content you have may differ and which is why you might have come out with a less than adequate response when you used introspection.

      That said, you are in control. You can choose how this ends; what experiences you choose to keep and what experiences you choose to let go of. Even without the apologies, through introspection we can let go.

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