Mediation & problem solving

The way we problem solve will always affect the way we behave with others in our relationships. Through mediation we learn to talk things through and problem solve. It’s a skill we must hone. If we attached importance to it we wouldn’t look to blame.

When it comes to any form of relationship we must mediate. It’s even more important parents mediate so their children learn how to mediate, so as they get older they too can get the best out of their relationships.

When it comes to families, adults who manage their problems constructively, will protect their children from conflict. When solutions are found, families form healthier, happier and stronger relationships. When they don’t, chaos can ensue. A problem-solving approach will help us confront our issues.

When it comes to mediation it’s important to listen, be fair and come from a place of care rather than blame, so that others don’t become the scapegoat. Always focus on the issue and not the person.

Never make the issue about the person and accept your own contribution in the process, through a non-blame approach.


31 Jan, 2019

2 thoughts on “Mediation & problem solving

  1. This is exactly what I’m talking about, when I say that there are still a lot of things that I don’t know how to do.

    I grew up in a world where my parents were always arguing. I’m pretty sure they never had anything even approaching a normal conversation. Nobody explained much of anything, least of all how to problem solve, so most of the time we had to figure it out on our own which is hard when you’re a kid.

    We were pretty much thrown to the wolves in life and expected to survive, without anyone telling us how to. I’m dealing with trying to escape from a toxic relationship and not knowing how to do it in a normal way.

    People do tend to treat you like you’re very stupid when you don’t know how to do certain things, which makes matters worse. I have stayed far too long in this abusive relationship, simply because I can’t figure out how to extricate myself from it, without ending up with nothing.

    My mother forced her way into my life and became so embedded in it that I couldn’t breathe, and I ended up with mom issues.’You live what you know’ which explains why I got trapped in toxic relationships.

    People will always tell you that you should just leave, when it isn’t always that simple, when you have been beaten into submission and brainwashed to think that it’s normal.

    1. Thanks Randy. There is no doubt in my mind that you have the tools to move on with your life. Until you take the plunge and move on with your life you can never know how much better your life will be.

      It’s a human failing, because by nature we continually talk ourselves out of, into believing we will never cope leaving a toxic relationship. But the reality is that we cope much better through the other end, because we’re away from the toxicity that was causing us the distress.

      I can resonate with your circumstances, but differently through my own trauma and neglect. Like myself, it is important you come to understand each family member’s role in your experiences growing up, and how you got to where you are.

      Parents tend to parent as they know through their parents. However that works out for us, it’s up to us to unravel our experiences through mediation and understanding, allowing us to make better, more healthier choices.

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