Misplaced Loyalty and its dangers

Misplaced loyalty which is based on guilt, will always come at a cost to our own personal, mental and emotional health. When anyone becomes biased towards a person or institution for the wrong reasons that loyalty becomes misplaced.

It can also happen out of personal feelings of guilt, though there is often no reason why that person should feel guilt, but loyalty if allowed to continue to be misplaced is dangerous, because not only will it leave us at the mercy of other people, but it can leave us at the mercy of those who benefit from our misplaced loyalty.

Any loyalty that becomes misplaced over time will put our integrity and sanity and at risk. It can also lead to serious psychological problems. Emotional trauma can lead to misplaced loyalty, particularly true in families; the most common form being towards parents. It is also linked to co-dependency. Misplaced loyalties if not changed can go on to affect our personal, social and professional lives.

Children who have been brought up by parents who are abusive, may develop misplaced loyalty issues towards their parents. In most misplaced loyalty cases, children may find it difficult to stand up against, or stop their parents from doing it. It is particularly true in inverted narcissism and co-dependency cases.

Although this may go back to our own childhood, which may need addressing, what all children need is a healthy sense of right and wrong, if each of us as part of society choose to act responsibly and morally, misplaced loyalty would be a thing of the past.


11 Jan, 2021

2 thoughts on “Misplaced Loyalty and its dangers

  1. I’m sure that would make a great title for the book about my life. It was how I was raised and brainwashed into believing that I was supposed to be loyal to my mother.

    It’s no wonder that I have been in so many toxic and abusive relationships with family and friends that have made my life a living hell. They talk about women being in these kind of relationships, but it does happen to men too.

    Considering I have so much more free time than I normally would, I should probably get my brain into gear to write about it. The misplaced loyalties have produced so much guilt, but it’s definitely something that I need to do.

    It would just be great if I didn’t feel so guilty about it but I know where those feelings come from, which is half the battle.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, narcissistic relationships are always toxic and the most dangerous. Misplaced loyalty is a terrible thing, not something easily handled or managed well.

      Abusive relationships around narcissism tend to stop when those people are no longer in your life. Writing your experiences down in the way they happened without judgment and/or anger, is a good place to start.

      When anyone is on the receiving end of narcissism, they are the ones who indeed feel guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty about, you were a child.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.