My values

Everything I write in The CP Diary pays homage to my experiences and emotional wellbeing. I believe there are many aspects to our emotional wellbeing that are linked, and others that will need us to think differently. On the back of my experiences, each blog carries a value and message.

I love to write about the things that mean something to me, like the values placed upon us as individuals and how those values play out in our lives. The old-fashioned values of caring and making a difference are what matter to me, and I will always try to live that way.

When I was a little girl, I lived in a modest house. My parents weren’t rich and as far as I knew they weren’t poor either, but I always had it instilled in me that to buy something, I had to earn it first. I never asked for anything, probably because I knew better, but that wasn’t altogether a bad thing, because it taught me about value, and rather than prize materialistic things, I had to find my happiness elsewhere.

I never fully understood what my parents’ individual values were because nothing was ever really discussed in any great detail. But over the years I knew family was important to Mum, but that she didn’t know how to nurture them. Family need to be nurtured, through a mutual understanding and respect without infringing on each other’s privacy.

I took my own values seriously and dealing with cerebral palsy meant I saw the world from a completely different angle. From an early age, I began to home in on the importance of people and reaching out, in the hope that I would find support. In the end, it became obvious that I needed to be my own emotional support.

I always aimed to please, to find an acceptance that was never there around my disability. My emotional issues were completely overlooked, although some effort was made to help me physically.

Moving forward, looking after my own children and making sure they grow to become happy and confident people is massively important to me. That they make a difference in their lives, however they choose to do so.

21 Jan, 2011

6 thoughts on “My values

  1. I’ve never really thought about my values. But I have some. Mainly caring about others especially my family. Family mean a lot to me and I thank my parents for instilling this value in me.

    Growing up was fun for me even though I had medical problems, until I turned into a teenager then all the problems set in, but I still had my family and sometimes that made a big difference.

    I never really knew what values my parents held but they were and are good people. My dad would do anything for others and my mom still does anything for others especially for my daughter. She treats her like her own child and that’s helped me a little with her.

    But it has also caused some problems. My mother makes sure I know she is my daughter especially when she has temper tantrums and in those impossible moods! I try to instill the values I grew up with into my daughter.

    Ever since her father died she has had this thing with taking care of animals especially dogs. She has taken in 3 dogs that were abandoned on the side of the road and takes very good care of them. I just wish she would treat people the same way. It’s not that she doesn’t treat others well it’s just different.

    Like a blank stare when made aware of others problems. But she is getting a lot better as she is growing up. She is now 22 years old and is a lot different than a few years ago. The temper tantrums are much less and she really does care about members of her family.

    Sorry to get off topic a little, but anyway values are important to me and caring for others is still the biggest value instilled in me from my parents.

    1. I think of course we all have values instilled in us from childhood, but when you and I were growing up, values were there, but weren’t altogether understood.

      What we do with our children and what we try to instill in them doesn’t always reflect our hard work.

      I think some children have the ability to take on values more than others. We have to remember that there are so many other things to take into consideration. We have peer pressure, our parents, schooling and other outside influences that we have to compete with. Then we have our own relationships with our spouses.

      Children see things, take in what goes on around them, but don’t always hold on to our values and what we teach them.

  2. I agree with you. If you work for the money you earn, then what you buy means more because you worked for it.

    I was blessed with parents who started with very little but worked hard to get everything they needed. I am thankfully not a materialistic person. People and relationships mean much more to me than material things.

    Life can be very lonely without friends.

  3. I’ve had to take a look at my values as of late to really understand what is important to me!

    I was raised not really even knowing what values were, so it has been very hard to learn at this age. I’ve just always pleased people, so much so that my values were so often set aside for what other people valued.

    I’m just praying that I can learn what my values really are and follow my own path for a change.

    1. Randy I believe you can. I was as you were many years ago. There is a balance between pleasing others and pleasing yourself, but learning that will come in time.

      You just have to make the first move.

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