Navigating therapy

3 Aug 2016

After much deliberation I chose to go into therapy in my thirties, but I believe therapy may not always work for everyone. It’s not a cure-all, but as I go on to explain here, it does go some way to help. In my view there is always merit in therapy.

It’s good to talk. Not only is it good to talk, I would go so far as to say it’s vital we talk and understand how to navigate our way through the therapy process, whilst keeping the communication paths open outside of therapy.

Looking back, therapy didn’t quite work for me. I’d go in ready to talk, but didn’t come out with the answers I was looking for. There was something about the therapy scenario that didn’t quite work. I didn’t feel as though I was getting out as much effort as I was putting in.

Somewhere in our psyche we have issues that will never be explored unless we learn to explore them. A lot of our experiences that we think aren’t harming us, are. I believe therapy doesn’t work for everyone, because Therapists can’t get below our conscious awareness, only we can. We just have to know how.

Although it’s our choice whether we go into therapy or not, we have to open our minds to the possibilities of the therapy process. We have to want to put ourselves through countless therapy sessions and not give up, or look for an easy fix. We have to put in the hard work, the deliberations, the reflection.

I found myself coming out from my sessions more demoralised with each passing week. Something just wasn’t clicking with me. I wasn’t getting the right connection in therapy. I was the one who needed to take back control, but I didn’t feel I had it. This became apparent, when I contacted my therapist for help on an urgent matter outside a formal therapy session and she made it clear that outside our therapy sessions was her own time.

It was only when I decided not to go back, that the penny actually dropped. My therapist’s stance that evening made me realise that only I could change my life. I was my responsibility.

4 Responses to “Navigating therapy”

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  1. Brad 03. Aug, 2016 at 4:48 pm #

    I have never been in therapy, although close friends and family have.

    Speaking with them I know they would completely agree with your conclusion that we have to see that counselling is only part of the big picture and ultimately we really do have to understand and then enact so we can change things of ourselves.

    There needs to be a plan in place than empowers the individual to identify and address in whatever way they feel comfortable with, those issues in their life that they feel are unresolved and negatively impacting on them. Your site is proof.

    • Ilana 03. Aug, 2016 at 5:20 pm #

      I know I didn’t think about or equate for myself that I needed to look at the bigger picture, or there was even a bigger picture.

      When we make the choice to go into therapy we think the therapist we have chosen to help us work through our issues, will make us feel better. I didn’t think about or see things in the way you suggest in your response; but my site is proof now that is exactly how we should see ourselves.

      Years on, I have come to understand through my writing and my blogs exactly how we should see the world and how we should do things.

  2. Tim 03. Aug, 2016 at 9:27 pm #

    My therapist was crying more than I was; but snippets of our conversation made me realize I was there because I allowed someone to hurt me, that changed my thinking forever.

    • Ilana 03. Aug, 2016 at 9:35 pm #

      Absolutely brilliant. Yes, it just takes one thought process and the whole piece of the jigsaw comes together. The difficulty in any therapy scenario is finding that piece through our understanding of our lives.

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