Negative self-talk

When I was little, I used to negative self-talk so much that I would talk myself into things, believing those things would happen. The negative self-talk was always there, it seemed to follow me like a shadow.

When we grow up with negativity around us, negative self-talk can become our daily dialogue. One memory I have is getting ready to go on holiday and not being able to sleep for weeks beforehand, because I was sure the plane was going to crash. If someone was ill, I was going to be ill too.

We must find ways to talk ourselves out of our negative self-talk. Our realities are often very different to what we talk ourselves into. I went on holiday; the plane didn’t crash and I didn’t get ill either. We become fearful of many things, primarily things we have no control over. In those times, it’s easy to have a downer on ourselves.

In my own case, I learned negativity from a very early age, having seen a lot of it around me. I think having Cerebral Palsy mustn’t have helped either, it just meant I lived around more negativity and emotional turmoil. I cannot remember what age I grew out of it; but I do remember at the age of 12 still trying to find ways to work through it all.

I would count sheep at bedtime, I would try and talk myself out of negativity for hours, by repeating positive thoughts in my mind to cloud the negative ones. I would try and keep busy. I thought that may pre-occupy my mind and for a short while it did; but those negative thoughts always came back.

We’re not born with negative inner-talk. Negative self-talk comes from negative situations that start in childhood and feed into our psyche that we have no control over and cannot always change. Anywhere where we have negativity.

We tend to play out a lot of what we see and a lot of what we’re taught from an early age, but we can change that too, we just need to have the tools to be able to do it.

To be cont.d/2

14 Jan, 2011

6 thoughts on “Negative self-talk

  1. I had to deal and do still deal with self negative comments that I say to myself, especially when I am feeling down on my life. Lately because I have been ill, I have been doing that a lot.

    I will hopefully feel better after my operation. I have to remind myself that this is just temporary and will not last forever.

    1. Randy, negative self-talk is normally temporary. As you rightly say it comes at a time when we’re down on ourselves. I know it will pass for you. Feel better soon.

  2. I have to deal a lot with negative self-talk. Even now I can catch myself falling into that pitfall, but it becomes something really hard to break. I think that mine has to do a lot with upbringing too.

    Perhaps you are on to something there. Self-esteem and confidence and negative thoughts are all things that I’m trying to work on, but it definitely doesn’t come easy for sure.

    1. I agree with you totally LeAnna. It took me many years to overcome negative thoughts. It’s a pattern we fall into through our upbringing and personal self-worth; but I believe it is something to be changed, we just need to have the tools to do it. Take care.

  3. I did it as a child and still do. Though now I talk myself into thinking positive thoughts instead of dwelling on the negative. I think it’s because of lack of self-esteem all my life and bad experiences as a child.

    1. Yes that’s exactly what it’s from Lisa. I hope that one day you manage to turn it around completely. Thanks for posting.

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