New & shiny things

When you have very little that’s new when you’re a child it’s very easy to want or wish you had new and shiny things. As children, we may begin to feel left out that others got to have new and shiny things and we didn’t.

I believe that having Cerebral Palsy in many respects saved me from most things, including the need to have new and shiny things. For those who want shiny things, they may spend money they haven’t got, because they think having new things will replace the things they missed out on, when they were children. It doesn’t.

Those of us who have had hand me downs, second hand clothes and toys, may feel as though they’ve missed out and as the adult may choose to buy those things. Without material things, it’s easier for us to look at and perceive our life in other ways that don’t involve material things, as long as we’re willing to embrace the concept.

It’s a shame that so many of us use our lack of having shiny things as a child to buy shiny things when we’re adults. We also tend to go out of our way to make sure our children have what we didn’t have. Personally, I’m not sure what children will learn by that, except they’ll just want more.

Sometimes we have to be okay with the fact that we didn’t, because that way we stay grounded and our lives stay real.

2 Jul, 2014

4 thoughts on “New & shiny things

  1. Interesting points you make, most of which certainly resonate with me.

    My parents struggled financially. This was never mentioned to me or my siblings but the reality was obvious. Most of our clothes were handed down from our older cousins, our toys were second hand and holidays non-existent.

    This had a huge impact on me. I was determined not to add to my parents’ financial burden so got a weekend job aged 12 so I could start to pay for my own things. I would not let anyone buy me anything, as all I knew was money problems and this included when other members of the family wanted to treat me. I paid my own way through university.

    The most important lesson was that I was financially aware from a very early age and I have been extremely capable and responsible with finances ever since. However, I am not great when people spend money on me but I am getting better.

    Interestingly I am happy with second hand things nowadays, but I still like the item to look like new, even if it isn’t. My cars are always used but after I have finished with them they look like new!

    1. Although your parents had no money, the not having money paved your way to a life where you were completely independent. You learned to rely on yourself, which is what we should be taught anyway. The downside of course is that you’ve become too independent and that’s not a good thing.

      Sometimes we must be able to accept that others may want to buy things for us, but it’s good though that you’re getting better at accepting other people’s generosity.

      It’s not fair to make others feel bad for them wanting to do something that’s good!

  2. I guess I was lucky. My parents didn’t buy me everything I wanted, but I didn’t lack either. I was jealous of others that had nice things that I didn’t have.

    My mom was a very giving person and I tend to be that way also. There’s not much I will buy for myself but I will buy for others in a heart beat. I didn’t spoil my daughters either. My mom did that especially my youngest daughter. I told her many times not to buy her things but she wouldn’t listen to me.

    It was her money and she could do what she wanted with it. She just didn’t see that she was spoiling my daughter terribly. But as my daughter gets older she has found out that you have to work to get what you want.

    A lot of people have everything and want more to just let things lay. Things become junk. I usually buy things I need, if I buy things for myself. I like to see others happy and if I can help do that I will. It makes me feel good to make others happy, but I know you can’t buy happiness.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I’m not sure if a child ever really gets over the fact that they have been spoiled. I know that’s not come from you Lisa, but it’s always harder for us as parents’ when we try to bring our child back into line.

      I agree with you that we must work to get what we want. It’s the only way I know that will allow us to appreciate what we have, whether that something turns out to be second hand, new or shiny.

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