Nothing is as it seems

From the outset, nothing is as it seems. We look at people and families and think they have it all; the friendship, the interaction, the love and support, but when we really get to know what goes on, nothing is as it seems.

As our minds begin to form a picture of something we see, behind closed doors there will always be other explanations. Perhaps part of our unconscious thoughts, crave that scenario for ourselves because we don’t have it, or perhaps we think they have more than we have and want some of what they’ve got.

On the flip-side of course there will always be other explanations, coupled with our own misinterpretations on what we see. Other circumstances may also change the way we see things. Unfortunately, most of everyone has had motives for doing something. The decisions they made we’re usually based on their own self-interest.

When we use our intent for our own personal gain and others are led to believe our intent is solely to help others, things are not as they seem. Perhaps then, we should be completely transparent so that others understand our motives.  An ego and alter ego, a motive, anything that takes us away from being who we really are, will automatically change the way others see us.

I work with, what you see is what you get with no hidden extras and nothing taken out. Perhaps if more of us could work with the same philosophy and take out some of those personality traits, things will start to appear as they are.

17 Apr, 2015

8 thoughts on “Nothing is as it seems

  1. I agree with you. I think we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear; especially if our own circumstances are lacking.

    I alway used to think my friends’ families were perfect, but boy was that far from the truth. I got a real shock when my best friend’s parents got divorced and the siblings fought like cat and dog when their father later died.

    Definitely a case of the grass being greener.

    1. Thank you. Yes we never really know what goes on behind closed doors.

      Perhaps if we were more opened minded, we’d deal with issues and scenarios completely differently and would understand everything there is to know about people and life. When we see and hear what we want to hear, nothing will ever change with us.

  2. Yes, what happens behind closed doors is usually completely opposite of what’s really going on!

    I grew up in that kind of world as a force-fed Baptist who’s dysfunctional parents were so much less than holy. It’s no wonder I ended up being so damaged.

    I find it very insulting when people say things like, “your parents did the best they could with what they had,” when I know that was far from the truth!

    1. Unfortunately and I have had it too, this is something that goes far beyond, even your parents lives Randy. If your parents we’re dysfunctional, your grandparents will have lived their lives in the same way, but like you have experienced, no one from the outset really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

      When I look at my parents’ parenting, I believe they couldn’t have done any better, because if they could have they would have changed lots of aspects of my childhood, including being told I had CP at 2 instead of 46, when I was finally given a diagnosis.

      It’s often hard, (and I believed it too) until I learned about life a little more, my parents did what they could with the tools they had been given.

      Our parents aren’t always given the right tools. I’ve made countless changes to give my own children a better life and that’s what I continue to do. My parents didn’t know how to do that and from what you say Randy, neither did yours.

  3. Just because someone seems to have it all, it doesn’t mean they actually do. They might be hiding something that is troubling them and feel ashamed to say so, because most of the time being unhappy is taken as being a failure, like something is wrong with us.

    Maybe that’s why some people put on a facade in public. I know I have pretended to be happy in public when I actually feel the opposite.

    1. Thanks Maria, yes this is so true, but maybe this is something I missed, because I don’t remember doing it.

      I do remember as a child doing a lot of soul searching to try to understand my own issues, perhaps that’s the reason why I didn’t need to put on a facade. You’re right, but which is why I think it’s even more important to say what we feel and get those feelings out.

  4. What you don’t know about me cannot hurt me and ignorance is sometimes bliss. Everybody wears another face and nothing is as what it seems. But the masquerade is politics and politics control every day people activity; we are who we need to be at any given time.

    If I asked the real Tim to please stand up, I wonder how many of me would rise to the occasion.

    1. You’re right Tim, the majority of us wear another face. It often becomes a coping mechanism for us, a way of life, to show the world that we’re okay, but inwardly our lives tell another story.

      The people that matter to you and care about you, I would hope wouldn’t set out to hurt you, regardless of what they know about you, but it’s only when something happens, that we really know who are friends are.

      Perhaps we should be, or need to be more astute in choosing our friendship groups.

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