Other people’s stress

Stress isn’t something we can touch or see, but we can learn to recognise its signs.

Unfortunately, stress impacts on relationships more than any of us will acknowledge, or are aware. Because stress has become part of everyday life, we’ve almost become immune to its warning signs and symptoms. It’s easier to see stress in others than it is to recognise it in ourselves.

When we learn to recognise our own stress, we will find it easier to recognise it when it comes from other people. Even when we manage and deal with our own stress, other people’s stress can still affect us. It’s hard when others don’t recognise their own stress but think we’re the catalyst of theirs. In today’s society that aspect of stress is commonplace.

Stress will always show up in verbal and non-verbal communication, especially in quarrels and arguments. In some cases, when stress is left undetected, it can make us feel disconnected from others. Stress can also go on to create anger and may even cause depression and isolation in those who already have pre-dispositions.

It is important we recognise the signs and symptoms of stress in ourselves, but equally important that we don’t carry other people’s stress.

10 Aug, 2014

8 thoughts on “Other people’s stress

  1. Guilty!!!! I tend to have stress and sometimes I let it get to me, but not as often as I used to.

    My daughter will have stress and I’ll know instantly and tell her that her symptoms are stress related. I’ll let her stress bother me. I worry especially now that she is expecting. She doesn’t need the stress. She needs to enjoy this time in her life and quit stressing about everything.

    I worry about her because of this, so I get stressed. I agree with you. People need to recognize the symptoms and deal with them.

    Things should be taken care of so we don’t get stressed. We need to learn to deal with problems that cause stress. We need to be happy.

    1. Thanks Lisa and for being so honest about it. I’ve known so many people brush stress off as another person’s problem, so it’s a breath of fresh air to hear you say that.

      I agree with your comments about stress and yes we do need to be happy and STAY happy. When we let stress in, we have less chance of achieving being happy.

  2. I agree, spotting the signs of stress in ourselves is so important and the sources of that stress equally so.

    I am getting better and better at managing the stresses in my life, although this has taken many years. I spot it creeping up on me and know how not to let things bother me so much. I’m also reading your blogs and I find that helps.

    1. Thank you!!! It’s not always easy to understand or recognise the signs that we are stressed.

      I’m pleased you’re getting better at managing your own stress. That’s half the battle. It doesn’t matter how long it takes to manage our stress as long as we do. I agree with your comment about spotting the signs of stress.

      Like you, I also believe finding the source of stress is important, without which we will always have stress in our lives. Not the best of scenarios.

  3. Managing our stress is so very important. One way I’ve learned to manage my stress is to identify the source of my stress and deal with it head on; I try to resolve it as soon as possible.

    But I think some of our stress is manufactured by us. We often create stressful scenario’s that don’t actually exist and I’m guilty of that.

    1. Thanks Tim. I think the majority of stress is manufactured by us. It’s a human failing I feel.

      I think your first sentence describes how you manage stress wonderfully. I personally believe stressful scenarios exist, perhaps just not to the degree we think they exist, or in the way we think they exist.

      In times of stress, it’s easy for us to blow scenarios up more than we should so scenarios seem worse. It’s only when we look back that we see how we could have or did manage those scenarios. That is exactly what I did as a child I would talk myself into and create stressful scenarios.

      Looking back, I know those scenarios in my head were all brought about by stress.

  4. I grew up in a very high stress environment, so I eventually had to learn how to disconnect from those feelings. It was very hard living like a Vulcan where to suppress those feelings meant feeling nothing at all, including joy or happiness.

    I was always a very sensitive child who definitely picked up on other people’s feelings, so for me it really was hell! I was reminded of what it was like when my niece went to hide in our bedroom because we were having a heated discussion. It made me feel so terrible because it had nothing to do with her but she,also being very sensitive, picked up on the feelings!

    My parents never really understood what they had put us through, I don’t think, which was the worst part. They always blamed each other for what it was like and the most I ever wanted from them was some kind of apology which was never going to happen.

    I spend a lot of time now trying to avoid a lot of stress, which doesn’t always work so well! It’s not much fun living without feeling anything so I have to work on learning better coping skills.

    My life may not always be stress free but if I can keep the chaos down to a dull roar, it makes my life so much easier!

    1. Thanks Randy. It’s very rare to have parents admit their faults. I had the same problem. As ever in these situations, it’s always the children who are the victims. It’s important not to stay a victim.

      I’m not sure we will ever avoid stress or stressful situations, but we can learn how to deal with stress and stressful situations when they happen. I think the more sensitive we are, the more we are affected by other people’s stress.

      I believe it’s so important to our emotional health to learn how to cope with stress and stressful situations and to keep those times down to a minimum.

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