Our basic needs

As human beings, we have basic needs. Basic needs are what we need to have to function well in our lives. We all need access to the basic needs, including shelter, food and clothing, which is necessary for our individual self-sufficiency.

We also have emotional needs that will differ throughout our life and depending on whether we’re the child or the adult. Our circumstances will also dictate our different needs at that time.

Below are just some of our basic needs:

Children’s needs include:

Children need to be loved, cared about, accepted and understood. Forgiven, safe, supported, trusted, in control, free and valued.

Adults needs include:

Adults need to be appreciated and valued, accepted, safe, supported, in control, trusted, understood, productive, cared about and free. Other needs include:

Trust

Whether we’re the child or the adult, we must trust and believe in ourselves first. When we believe in ourselves, the trust we have means that we will also believe in the reliability, truth or ability of someone or something else.

Trust is a belief system brought about through confidence, belief and faith. Trust is freedom from suspicion, doubt. That we have certainty, a sense of conviction and assurance that we can rely on the people around us.

Control

That we can control and be in control, or that others have the power to influence or direct another person’s behaviour or the course of events. When we have control for ourselves, other people’s influence won’t matter as much, but that needs to happen.

Control is power, it’s an authority, a dominance, a command. But I believe that keeping control is something we must continue to work on. To give up on us having control, is to allow someone else to control.

Feeling safe

Feeling safe is something we should all feel. ‘I am safe, I feel safe.’ The emotions are a powerful tool. Even if we feel physically safe, it may be that emotionally we don’t think we are. Feeling emotionally safe is vital, if we are to feel and think safe.

That said, it’s important to focus our emotions on telling ourselves that we are and feel safe, unless something happens to change that and that something becomes obvious.

The degree to which we feel happy and safe within the framework of our individual beliefs, depends on our ability to learn to move forward beyond just survival into belonging and love and so that we learn about and include cooperation, compassion, tolerance, empathy and community.


6 May, 2017

2 thoughts on “Our basic needs

  1. It’s a shame your blogs weren’t around 45 years ago. I was fed and housed and that’s about it. I guess that covers the essentials. Not surprisingly, I soon learned to look after myself.

    I’d like to think I’ve changed all that as a parent, but I guess that’s for my children to say, not me.

    1. Thank you!! Absolutely… yes, any parent should automatically know whether they’ve done more than their best for their children.

      Generally speaking we must look to our children’s achievements and what they continue to aspire to. An independent thinking child who can fend and look after themselves and make their own decisions, is a child who will have had the basic needs of love and support.

      A child, who is open and transparent will show their parents that they have done more than their best. Those are the best kind of relationships. But hopefully children will see what we see, in the way we see it, but sadly not.

      Being fed and housed, doesn’t make for good parenting, but there is always room for change and for parents to make things better. I was once told that I do more than my best and that is all as parents we can hope for.

      You’re right though, it’s for our children to tell us, not for us to part guess. We may guess wrong, thinking the blame doesn’t lie at our door.

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