As human beings, we have basic needs. Basic needs in life are what we need if we are to function and function well. We all need access to the basic needs, including shelter, food and clothing that is necessary for our individual self-sufficiency.
We also have emotional needs that will differ throughout our life and depending on whether we’re the child or the adult. Our circumstances will also dictate our different needs at that time.
Below are just some of our basic needs:
Children’s needs include
Children need to be loved, cared about, accepted and understood. Forgiven, safe, supported, trusted, in control, free and valued.
Adults needs include
Adults need to be appreciated and valued, accepted, safe, supported, in control, trusted, understood, productive, cared about and free. Other needs include:
Whether we’re the child or the adult, we must trust and believe in ourselves first. When we believe in ourselves, the trust we have means that we will also believe in the reliability, truth or ability of someone or something else.
Trust is a belief system brought about through confidence, belief and faith. Trust is freedom from suspicion, doubt. That we have certainty, a sense of conviction and assurance that we can rely on the people around us.
That we can control and be in control, or that others have the power to influence or direct another person’s behaviour or the course of events. When we have control for ourselves, other people’s influence won’t matter as much, but that needs to happen.
Control is power, it’s an authority, a dominance, a command. But I believe that keeping control is something we must continue to work on. To give up on us having control, is to allow someone else to control.
Feeling safe is something we should all feel. ‘I am safe, I feel safe.’ The emotions are a powerful tool. Even if we feel physically safe, it may be that emotionally we don’t think we are. Feeling emotionally safe is vital, if we are to feel and think safe.
That said, it’s important to focus our emotions on telling ourselves that we are and feel safe, unless something happens to change that and that something becomes obvious.
The degree to which we feel happy and safe within the framework of our individual beliefs, depends on our ability to learn to move forward beyond just survival into belonging and love: so that we learn about and include co-operation, compassion, tolerance, empathy and community.