Our emotional hurt

Common sense would suggest that we’re motivated to preserve our wellbeing, and yet whilst our subconscious, unresolved issues remain issues, we will always hurt ourselves to the point of possible serious harm.

We will always want to start out with the best of intentions. If we could understand our emotions and our lives, we’d learn more about how our emotions work, more about our wants and needs and would do more to avoid emotionally hurting ourselves.

We want to be mentally healthy, but being mentally healthy is something we must continue to work at. We must keep our emotions well and intact. When things get tough, we ignore the very things we need to work on, but we mustn’t.

We unconsciously tell ourselves we’re going to fail, or refuse to give up on the very things that can bring about peace, in the hope that what we’re holding on to, will give us the result we want. We must preserve our health so that we don’t begin to emotionally hurt ourselves.


23 Apr, 2018

4 thoughts on “Our emotional hurt

  1. Yes, common sense would dictate that we should go out of our way to avoid causing ourselves any further harm, but when you grow up in a world where common sense is nonexistent, it isn’t that simple.

    Sadly, self sabotage becomes the norm seeing as we avoid working on any of our issues and actually doing things to take care of ourselves, is the opposite of what we usually do.

    Actually being happy was one of the many things we weren’t allowed to be most of the time. If my mother wasn’t happy, she made sure that the rest of us couldn’t be happy either, even though she didn’t do much to change anything to be happy herself.

    This is obviously the pattern my life has followed so I have to work on defeating a lifetime of learned behaviors to work on living my own life. Finally being happy which would be amazing.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes as you said yourself about your mum, ‘she didn’t do much to change anything to be happy herself.’

      And that’s where we can change it for ourselves. We don’t have to repeat our parents’ lives and mistakes, we can utilise what we know about their lives, to change our own.

      Although I understand it’s hard, I’ve been there too; but there comes a time when we must change our lives for ourselves.

      It’s a matter of unlearning old behaviour and re-learning a different way to be. By changing our circumstances, moving away from people who bring us down instead of elevating us, we will start to make small changes.

      I believe those small changes will turn into bigger changes, with more confidence and a different attitude and mindset.

  2. The nerves connected to my emotions were partially severed some time ago, after enduring every single kind of hurt imaginable, so I’m a little numb to hurt, but not exempt from it.

    That’s internalized pain, which I really need to do something about.

    1. Thanks Tim. Your response resonates with me in every way. It brings back many memories of my being hurt also, but it also allows me to see understanding on the other side of hurt. My blog also brings that.

      I believe today’s blog ‘Understanding Write & Burn’ Tim will help you to bring closure on some of your own hurt. If you want to get in touch, I will be happy to work this through with you.

      Having done it myself and I believe it works.

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