Our priorities

However hard it is to look back at our own lives and feel cross that we missed out on so many things, it is our own family that must be our priority.

Often the choices that were made for us were based on what our parents wanted, or what we thought our parents expected us to do. Looking back on these times can be very painful for most of us and although we cannot turn the clock back or change what we missed out on, we can change the way we perceive our past and the way we go on to perceive our future.

Although I failed to achieve my potential growing up, I was determined that if I had children they would have the opportunity to meet theirs. We should always try where possible, to make sure that we change things so our children meet their full potential in whatever they choose to do, even if we’ve failed in ours.

When I got past the point of feeling guilty about the things I had failed at, I began to take stock of how much of those failings I was responsible for and found that all of them weren’t down to me. Although it took a while to set about making some of the changes I needed to make, I did and have never looked back.

In the bigger picture our lives turn out how they’re supposed to. We should learn to embrace that concept, whilst we continue to work on the things we know we can change, not the things that have gone and we can’t do anything about. That only sets to hurt us more.

5 May, 2013

4 thoughts on “Our priorities

  1. I missed out on a good bit, which is partly my parents’ fault for being over protective and partly my part due to being a rebellious teenager, but you’re right, things turned out how they were supposed to. I can still experience some things now like going back to school and getting out and socializing.

    I let my older kids make their choices as far as their lives went. If they wanted to go to college they had the opportunity. If they wanted to work, they could work. Neither one of them got licensed to drive until they were in their early 20’s so we had to do most of the chauffering around, along with friends they had. They made some mistakes but it was thier choice and they understand that.

    My 5 year old will have the same opportunity as his sisters had, but with a little more supervision due to his disabilities.

    1. Thanks Lisa. From what you say Lisa it sounds as though you turned things around so that you gave your children the opportunities. That’s good.

      We can always go back and change things for ourselves if we feel we need to, but it’s important to give children the opportunity even if they make mistakes in the process.

  2. Certainly when I was younger, a lot of my decisions were based on what my parents wanted. Until I moved out for 4 years did they realize that I could live on my own. My father said that I would never be able to do that but I proved him wrong.

    It was a experience that I wanted to do, to prove to them and myself that I was capable of doing it. It made me grow as a person which is good.

    1. Yes having our independence does makes us grow as a person, both emotionally and physically. I know that you were dealing with a lot given your CP, but it’s a shame your parents didn’t put more trust in you.

      You should have been given the opportunities instead of you having to prove to them that you could manage without them. I am pleased you did though.

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