Where those who have a disability may put protective walls up and behave in alert mode even when someone is being nice to them, protective walls aren’t just something they do.
We all grow up amongst many who have their protective walls, but when it came to mine, I was always trying to break those walls down. I learned very quickly that whilst walls were up, I would continually learn nothing about myself.
Whilst we should never go into a relationship with our walls up, there are those who tend to err on the side of caution until such a time they feel they can trust. Protective walls are our inability to trust, but however we got to this point it’s important we sort the problem out, even if the original problem was not down to us.
But protective walls aren’t something we should want to live with. They’re also not something we should accept. Eventually any protective wall that’s been there for long enough will be the difference between a successful relationship and any potential break up. Not everyone will put up living on the other side of a wall.
For partnerships to flourish, we must want to be open and honest. The irony is that in our partnerships, we don’t struggle to talk about other people’s difficulties, but we struggle to talk about own.