It isn’t right for us to throw our wrongdoings at someone else and expect them to apologise. We must apologise for our own words and actions.
We must be truthful and honest when we apologise. We’ve got to mean the apology. A true apology is universal and recognisable. It changes the way we think about ourselves and the way other people feel about us.
An apology that’s true doesn’t include the word ‘but’. ‘But’ cancels out the apology and introduces an excuse. A true apology keeps the focus on our words and actions and not on the other person’s response. It is important we learn to own our behaviour and response.
A true apology isn’t about apportioning blame. It is about us recognising our part in the action and apologising for what we’ve done. There is no point in apologising, if we choose to repeat the same behaviour patterns. An apology should be supported by corrective action, so others are aware change will follow. Apologies shouldn’t be used to silence another person.
An apology is part of the healing process. It is important everyone understands the words behind the apology and know why the apology is there.